If I protest too much, he’ll know something is up. I haven’t talked to Peter since I kissed him earlier. And like the chicken shit I am, I waited until he was going to the restroom to leave the house. Avoidance appears to be my superpower.
“Does Lexi get along with him?”
“Yeah. They ambushed me into making snow angels when there was still snow on the ground.” I shrug my shoulders and take a drink. “She acts like she does when you’re around.”
“That’s good to know.”
What the hell is my brother playing at?
I’m about to ask but Lexi comes back to the table with a big smile on her face. “Is it okay if I go hang out with Abby after school tomorrow. Eric said they can bring me home.” She pauses for a second. “Well, Peter’s house.”
Oh great. Now the person who everyone says is a gossip knows we’re staying with Peter. I hope like hell he doesn’t say anything to anyone. Most people wouldn’t be surprised with how close we all were as kids, but that’s beside the point. The last thing I need for the town to think is I came back to rekindle an old flame.
Miles gives me a pointed stare because he knows I want to say no so badly. But Lexi is making friends, and I don’t want my feelings to get in the way.
“Yeah, that’s fine.”
“Yes.” She throws her hand in the air and glances over at their table. “I’ll be right back.”
Without another word she rushing back across the restaurant. Lexi is fitting in here more than I could imagine.
“It’ll be good for her.” Miles says as the waiter sets our food on the table. “She’ll be running around like we did at that age. Though, you should probably look into driver’s education for her. She’ll have you running around everywhere if she joins any school clubs.”
“It’s on my to-do list. I think we’ll do the at home learning.”
“Good choice.” He uses his fork to cut a piece off his enchilada. “Now stop stressing and let her live a little. She’s safe in this town.”
I have zero doubts about that. But that’s not why I’m stressing. There’s a small feeling in my gut about Lexi’s motivations to hang out with Abby. While I know she does want to spend time with her, I’m sure she’s trying to make herself scarce after her comments about things being weird between me and Peter.
My kid is flourishing, and I need to give myself the chance to do the same. It’s too bad I don’t know how to stop being nervous and anxious about every choice I make. The last time I thought I was doing something that made me happy, I spent far too many years in a bad marriage.
Seventeen
Peter
Callie is such a scaredy cat. She left as soon as I wasn’t in the living room. The only reason I knew they were going out for dinner is because Lexi told me. A part of me wanted to call Miles and see if I could join them for dinner, but I knew that would be overstepping a line. The last thing I want to do is really piss her off. I remember her anger from when we were kids. She could be vicious when she wanted to.
Now to figure out what I’m going to eat. There’s no telling when they’ll be home. I open the fridge door and look through the shelves. Aside from what Callie bought the other day, it’s pretty bare. I guess I’ll be grocery shopping tomorrow. My fridge is almost never this empty. Surely everyone else has already gone and got the groceries they need to restock after the freeze.
I grab the jelly and close the door. Now all I need is bread and peanut butter. It’s the only thing I have that’s quick, easy, and doesn’t need to be thawed. I’m not sure the last time I had a PB&J sandwich. Childhood is what it reminds me of. Long summer days with a sandwich as a snack before heading off to the next adventure. Sometimes I wish I could go back to those times. Being an adult is hard, and confusing.
My life used to be simple. Go to work, hang out with Miles, and do whatever Pierce needed. Now…not so much. Figuring out who I am is proving to be more difficult than I imagined.
I finish making my sandwich and head to the living room with my plate in hand. At least we have power again, and I can find something to watch. Turning on the TV, I scroll through the streaming services I have and randomly select one. A movie my sister was obsessed with is the first thing that pops up. Has she been using my login again? Screw it, let’s see what this is about.
It’s a teen movie, but I remember her mentioning it was a retelling of a book. I can’t remember which one, but so far, I like it. Pierce used to give Paula crap about watching this movie on repeat. I can see why she did, though.
Honestly, I should watch more movies like this. Maybe it’ll tell me all the ways I’m fucking up with Callie. I’ve clearly mastered acting like a jerk for no reason outside of frustration. Hopefully she isn’t still mad. Too bad I won’t know until her and Lexi get back.
I’m not sure how I’m going to handle it when they are able to go back home. Them being here has been nice. I don’t find myself longing for work because I’m not sitting by myself.
The back door creaks as it opens. I’ve been so entranced with this movie I didn’t hear the car pulling in, or see the headlights through the window. Maybe it’s not them. There’s a good chance it’s one of my siblings. They wouldn’t necessarily come up the driveway.
Lexi enters the living room and laughs. “I didn’t peg you for the chick flick type.”
“It was the first movie that came up. I’ve never seen it.”
“Impossible. It’s a classic.” When I raise my eyebrows at her she shakes her head. “Just because it was before my time doesn’t mean I’ve never seen it. I watch it with Mom all the time.”
