His sincerity makes the backs of my eyes sting a little.
“It’s going to be hard enough to make them accept me, even for the night. There’s no use making it harder. And…” I exhale some of my building nerves that are pinging around now that the time has arrived to attend the party. No more stalling. And no more pretending that this man isn’t becoming more important to me by the hour. “I guess I wanted you to be proud you invited me. Proud…of me.”
A lump slides up and down in Tripp’s throat. “You’re not going to worry about that ever again after tonight.” I’m skeptical, but I let him take my backpack and hold my hand out to himanyway, letting him guide me to the entrance of the boat. He doesn’t take his eyes off me the whole way, bringing my hand to his mouth and laying kisses on my knuckles, my fingers. “Will you stay here with me tonight?”
“On the boat?”
He nods. “We have eight bedrooms to choose from. It’ll just be us. And the staff.”
I brace myself to reveal the decision I made tonight while I was biking to the resort.
Tonight, I’m going to give myself to Tripp. I’m going to make him my first.
The realistic part of me knows he’s going to leave and break my heart at the end of the week, but I can’t act like something magical isn’t happening between us. I want our moments together to be special, even if the memories hurt later.
“If the staff is going to be here, then…maybe we should pick the bedroom with the most soundproof walls.”
Tripp stops walking. He turns toward me and nudges up my chin, scrutinizing me closely, hope and need clashing in his blue eyes.
“You’re…ready?”
My sex clenches over the gruff way he says the word.“Yes.”
He continues to stare down at me, his breathing measured.
“What are you thinking?” I ask when the silence stretches too long.
“I’m trying to come up with a way to get rid of everyone immediately,” he replies in a hoarse rush, slowly backing me up against the wall of the hallway, ducking his face into my neck to inhale me. “Jesus, Vida. You had to tell me this now? In that tight little dress? My dick is going to be stiff as a board the entire party.”
I wiggle my hips against his. “It’s a good thing that shirt is loose.”
His lower body pins me to the wall with a slam, his mouth ghosting over mine. “I’m obsessed with you, you know that?” He visibly struggles to rein himself in. “Did you bring your Yale application with you?” He shakes my backpack. “Is it in here?”
After a heavy swallow, I nod. “Yes. You can look, but please don’t try and intervene.”
“Vida.” He closes his eyes, his frustration evident. “I promised you I wouldn’t. I’m just going to have a look. But so help me God, if I find what I suspect I’ll find—that you’re a brilliant applicant and got passed over for someone whose father could afford to donate five million dollars to Yale—I’m going to have a hard time not doing something about it.”
“I know it’ll be hard to leave it alone, but I don’t want a school that doesn’t want me. And I definitely don’t want to take advantage of your kindness?—”
“Kindness?” Tripp bursts out, his tone incredulous. “Angel, if you let me do nice things for you, even if they involve money, do you think you would be the only one benefitting? I getyouas a girlfriend. I could buy you a fleet of jets and the island of Maui and I’d still be getting the better part of the deal. I would haveyou.And the girl I’m crazy about would have what she needs.”
I’m struck speechless.
It’s the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me.
It’s also a terrifying sentiment. He’s asking me to not only accept his wealth and power but utilize it.
“I’m crazy about you, too,” I manage around the object in my throat. “And Itrustyou. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here doing something that scares me so much. I just…I have to think about the rest. I’m proud. I want to achieve things on my own.”
“You will.” He clears his throat, briefly glancing down at the space between his feet. “But this is who I am. I’m a Sterling, and that comes with billions of dollars and a lot of privilege attached. It’s not going anywhere and it’s all a part of me. When you turndown what I can offer you, it feels…a little bit like you’re turning me down, too.”
“Tripp,” I gasp, the backs of my eyes smarting with tears. “Please don’t say that. What I want is you. Just you. None of the trappings.”
He cups my face gently. “It doesn’t work that way.” A tear sneaks out of the corner of my eyes, and he catches it with his thumb, frowning. “My God, what the fuck is wrong with me, making you cry when you’re braving this party for me? I’m sorry, Vida. I’m an asshole.”
“No, everything you said is valid and I’m going to think about it. I promise.” I kiss the side of his hand. “Let’s talk about it again later, okay?”
“Okay.” He bends down to give me a hard kiss, edged with affection. “Let’s go in.”
