He closed his eyes briefly, exhaling through his teeth. “I must… I need air. I shall ride.”
“It is nearly dark.”
“Then I shall ride in the dark. It is that, or tear down your door this very night.”
He left her standing against the wall, her pulse thundering, her whole body alive with the tension coiled between them. Through the window, she saw him stride toward the stables, his movements sharp with frustration and something perilously close to surrender.
Nineteen and a half days.
She was no longer certain either of them would last so long.
***
That night, she heard him return late—the faint thud of his boots, the restless pacing in his chamber. Celine crossed to the connecting door almost without thinking, pressing her palm against the wood as if it were warm skin.
A pause. Then his voice—low, weary, too honest for daylight.
“Celine?”
“Yes?”
“I am… sorry. For earlier. For all of it.”
“Do not apologise for feeling what you feel.”
“I’m apologising,” he murmured, “for being too much a coward to act on it.”
“You’re not a coward. You’re cautious. There’s a difference.”
“Is there? Because from where I stand, it appears I’m too afraid to reach for what’s freely offered.”
“You’re afraid of hurting me.”
Silence, then a breath that seemed to scrape through him.
“I’m afraid of ruining you. Of becoming my father in the worst ways—taking without thought, without control.”
“You are nothing like your father.”
“How can you be so certain?”
“Because you’re having this conversation through a locked door instead of breaking it down. Because you care enough to wait, even when it costs you.”
Another silence. Softer this time.
“Itiscosting me.”
“Me too.”
“Truly?”
“I dream about you,” she whispered. “About what might happen when the month ends.”
The quiet between them sharpened.
“What do you dream of?” he asked—steady voice, unsteady breath.
“I—I dream about your mouth,” she shallowed hard. “Right here.” She traced a fingertip just below her collarbone, then lower. “I dream about your hands pinning mine above my head. About your voice in my ear when you’re too far gone to be proper.”
