Roth sat back on his heels with a wry smile.“It was impressive,” he said, then gave her a mock stare.“But useless without skill with your fiery blade.”
Halithe nodded, feeling tears well up again as she hid her face in Ritathan’s robes.
“No one saw,” Ritathan said softly.“And the less talk about this, the better.”
“Agreed,” Roth said.“I’ll just clear the ashes.”Halithe heard his boot against the gravel as he rose to his feet.“We can figure out the rest later.”
Halithe felt Ritathan nod.
She sighed then, feeling numb and drained.Ritathan’s arms were warm; they sat in silence as Roth walked away.
“He scared you,” Ritathan whispered.“You defended yourself.”
Halithe nodded against his chest.“I wanted to hurt him,” she whispered, horrified at the memory.“I was so angry…”
“With Roth?”Ritathan asked.
“No.”She weakly shook her head.“With—I don’t know.”She rubbed her nose with her sleeve.
Ritathan hummed and didn’t say anything.Just waited.
“I think he was just the poor bastard standing in front of me,” Halithe admitted.
“There’s more to it than that, isn’t there?”Ritathan said.
The words burst out of her.“It’s just that, it’s all so confusing.I don’t know what I want, I don’t know what that was and I don’t know what to do and everyone is so nice, and—”
“Breathe,” Ritathan said.
“Everywhere else I feel judged and here I feel—” Halithe closed her eyes, struggling to find the words.“Wanted.”She bit her lip.“Accepted.”
Ritathan tightened his arms around her and she sighed, relaxing into his warmth.
“When you first appeared at the door of my chambers, demanding to be taught,” Ritathan started, “I figured that it would be a passing interest.That you would take a few lessons and then gradually lose interest, as so many do.
“You persisted.”He chuckled.“And I thought, ah, maybe you would be a true apprentice to me.Part of my legacy.”He paused.“Now,” he tightened his arms again, “now, I want for you what you want, Leeda.Whatever that might be.I want you to see the possibilities and reach for them.You have a chance here, and time, with no fear, no judgement, no expectations from anyone.Including me.
“I find I do not want a fake Ritathan or a stifled Leeda.I want an authentic Halithe, strong and confident and true to herself.”
Halithe raised her head to look at him.“Even if I don’t become a mage?”
“Even so,” Ritathan said as he hugged her again.“It’s all right to be confused and scared.You are far too young to have these answers.”
“You did,” Halithe sat up.“You knew what you wanted.”
“Did I?”Ritathan snorted.“Maybe I was blinded by the power I sought.”He pulled back and looked her in the eye.“Better?”
She nodded, suddenly realizing that their clothes were dry.The bucket at Ritathan’s feet was full again.She looked at him.
“I told the water to return to the bucket,” he said.“Neat trick, yes?”He danced his eyebrows at her.
Halithe laughed as Roth returned to the courtyard, two wooden swords in hand.He stood before them, giving Halithe a careful look.“I thought maybe we should start with the basics,” he said.“How to defend yourself.”He coughed.“Without flames.”
Halithe hesitated, looked at Ritathan.
“I think you should,” he said.“Emotional control is important and it comes in part from facing your fears.Rage is all well and good, but it blinds you when you need to see clearly.”He crossed his arms over his chest.“Besides, I have no desire to string onions.”
Roth extended the wooden sword toward her, hilt out.
