“So what do you want to do? You want some space? Is that it?” he asks, sounding angry. I run my hand through my hair and shrug.
“I honestly don’t know.” My mind has been a mess since that night with the man in the mask. At times, I feel disgusted, and at others, I can’t help but wonder if it would happen again. Does that make me sick? Weird? I can’t tell Devon about it, or he’d lose his shit worse than what he’s doing now.
“If you want space, you’re not getting it.”
“What? Then why ask me?” I yell this time.
“I was being nice.”
“So if that’s what I need, you won’t let me have it?”
“Caydence, I’d let you have anything in the fucking world you wanted, but you aren’t getting away from me.” My mouth drops open at his words. I knew there was a level of obsession with him, but this?
“What if I don’t want this anymore?” I ask him, crossing my arms over my chest. He chuckles.
“That’s too bad.”
“I mean it, Devon. What if I want to be alone for a while?” I ask him. He shakes his head.
“Not happening. In fact, if you want to push the issue, I’ll pack your shit right now and move it to my house.”
“What’s the fucking difference if you’re always here anyway?” I see the amusement in his eyes. He’s not taking this seriously at all. Not like I thought he would.
“Aww, you don’t want me spending the night, baby?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You basically did. You want me to leave? I’ll leave, but not forever, Caydence. You have to know that this thing between us,” he says, motioning with his finger between the two of us. “Will never be over.”
“See, it’s things like that that make me think, Devon.”
“It’s just the truth,” he replies. I sigh. I don’t know what I want anymore. Breaking up with Devon wasn’t what I wanted. His being here all the time wasn’t either. There are days when I feel like I’m suffocating, and others I can’t get enough of him. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me anymore.
“I’m tired,” I tell him as I pull my shirt over my head and toss it to the side, grabbing my pajama shirt.
“You want to sleep alone tonight?”
“Is that bad?” I ask him.
“No. I’ll let you have tonight, but as I said, this isn’t over, Caydence. I’m not walking away from you, and you’re not leaving me.”
“I don’t think that’s what I want anyway,” I tell him.
“You don’t think?”
“You know what I mean.”
“Fine. Have your night alone. Call me tomorrow.” He turns and leaves the room. Something sinks in my chest, and I hate that feeling.
I lay back on my pillow and think about the man in the mask. Who is he? Why does he keep showing up here? What does he want with me? Does it really matter? How could I be with someone like him, either? He’s just as fucked up as Devon is.
I’ve tried for hours to fall asleep, but I can’t. I feel bad for how I acted and what I said to Devon, so I texted him.
Don’t be. You made your point
I’m sorry about earlier.
I don’t even know what the fucking point was. I mean it, I’m sorry.
