“You’re … you’re fucking intense for one. You killed someone right in front of me and don’t seem to care. What is it you want with me?”
“Your time. Your love. Your heart.”
I know this isn’t easy for her to understand, and there are times that it’s even hard for me to comprehend. I’m not used to feeling like this. I’m not used to what Caydence does to me. I’ve never had a woman make me feel so fucking weak and yet empowered all at the same time. This shouldn’t be happening, yet it is, and I can’t stop it, not that I would. I can only go with it.
“It’s late. I should go.” She begins to shove her things into her bag. I push out of my seat and walk around the desk, pulling her to her feet.
“You’ve never been with a guy like me, Caydence. You never will, for that matter. But I’ve never been with a girl like you either. One who has the power to fucking break me, and I won’t lie, that’s scary.”
She stares at me as if I’ve lost my damn mind, and by telling her that, I just may have.
“You’re scared?” she asks softly.
“Of you.”
“Why?”
“I just told you why. You have the power to ruin me, and there would be nothing I could do to stop it.”
“Because of what you did? To that guy?” I cup her face in my hands and shake my head.
“No. Because of how you make me feel. How you make me want things I didn’t know I wanted.”
“What do you want?”
“A life. Love. Something that can never be broken. I want to love so hard that it fucking hurts. I want to love you so much that I can’t breathe when you aren’t with me. I want to feel my heart being ripped from my chest every time I have to say goodbye to you.” I see the tears as they well up in her eyes, and I know that’s the kind of love she wants too. She wants it all just like I do. I know I’m the one to give it to her, no matter what she thinks of me.
“That’s really deep, Devon.”
“You asked what I wanted, and that’s it.”
“And you have some crazy idea that’s with me?” she asks.
“It’s not a crazy idea when it’s true. I already hate walking away from you, Caydence. I want you by my side all the time.”
“That’s not possible.”
“It is, but you wouldn’t agree to it. Not now anyway.”
“What’s that mean?”
“Nothing. In time, things will change. We’ll grow closer, just like I want us to.”
“Devon, I don’t know about all this,” she admits.
“You don’t have to know. I’m not changing my mind, and I’m not letting you go.”
“You can’t hold me hostage,” she laughs slightly until she looks me in the eye. “Oh, God. You’ve thought about it, haven’t you?” I nod once.
“I won’t lie and say I didn’t. The thought of you begging me for the freedom you’ll never have did do a little something to me. But after I thought about it, I wanted you to want me too.”
“What if this is too much for me?” she pushes.
“Too bad, baby. I already told you, I’m not letting you go.” Now I lean down and press my lips to hers. At first, she doesn’t respond, and I think I may have pushed her too far, but after a second, she begins to kiss me back. I knew she wanted me just as much as I wanted her.
Things with her are just going to take a little time. And I have time. Time to wait. Time to show her what she means to me. Time to show her I’d do anything for her. She doesn’t know it yet, but the lines have all blurred for me. Fiction and reality are now one in my mind, and there is no limit to what I’d do for her.
