Brushingaway the single tear that had broken free with the memories, Noble continued, “For hours after the witch had left, I couldn’t move, and when I finally could…he was, of course, already long gone, but so was Eveline and our child… I never figured out what beast or creature he had with him, as I never saw it… But whatever it was…had, um—” Noble took a shuddering breath. “—eaten part of them…before just tearing them to shreds…”
Ollie sniffed, his eyes glassy with tears. “What happened after?”
“After…well, I became the town madman… I told everyone I could that it was not a beast that had done it, but a man. No one listened, and no one believed me. And eventually, Ijust stopped…trying. I started drinking, stopped working…and just gave up. That was when the hunters approached me, at my lowest moment possible. Things took off from there.” Noble sighed. “He wasn’t my first kill…the one who had taken my family from me. They started me off slow, on weaker witches. I hunted for five years, killing whoever they told me to before taking that final step into ascension.
“During those five years, they helped me identify the person who killed my wife and child. And at the age of forty, when I was finally ready to take the final step, to perform the ritual, I hunted down the witch, Ingram Lendvay, bound and tortured him, before draining his existence in a way that destroyed the rest of my humanity.
“You…probably have already seen what it took to do that. And what I did to him is likely the same thing that led to Annabel’s death. But, unlike the hunter who killed her, I took precautions to prevent leaving a ghost behind. I wanted nothing of the evil bastard to remain…
“Ollie, I won’t lie and say that everyone I killed was evil, because I know they weren’t. I have killed and hurt a lot of innocent witches, even if I have also killed some rotten bastards, who deserved every bit of pain I gave them. I would like to say I was blinded by my hatred, but the truth is, after several years, it had nothing to do with revenge, and everything to do with satisfying the violence inside me.
“There were, I'll admit, far too many years where I shoved every witch into the same box as the monster who killed my wife and child, but that doesn’t excuse what I did. The reality is, there really is no way for me to claim I was doing it to save and protect the world from evil.”
Ollie had heardthe pain in Noble’s voice as he talked about his wife and child, just as he witnessed the switch in tone when he spoke about what he’d done. He went from pained to…sounding almost like he was reading the ingredients off a cereal box, so matter of fact it was stifling.
After listening to Noble explain why…Ollie couldn’t say he didn’t understand, at least in the beginning, yet…he also somewhat understood the latter—Noble’s lust for violence… He wished he didn’t. But he had wanted to hurt Mikael, and even if some of it wasn’t his own emotions, he knew deep down, underneath all the denials, a little bit of it was.
Mikael had almost killed Red. And he’d realized, while listening to Noble, that maybe it was okay that, in return, Ollie had wanted him to hurt… It didn’t excuse the actions, even if it explained them.
He didn’t understand wanting to hurt those who hadn’t harmed him, though, and Ollie didn’t think he ever would, or even wanted to. But maybe that was also okay.
Taking a slow, deep breath during the silence, Ollie cleared his throat and asked, “Did you approach me knowing what I was?”
Noble shook his head. “No, I didn’t know until the amulet started glowing.”
“Why didn’t you hurt me when you found out? Did you stay because you planned to kill me?”
“No!” the man almost desperately shouted, before wincing and, much more calmly, admitting, “Never… The truth is…I wasalready fighting to hold on to the lies they had told me from the very first moment I stepped foot in your library. I was at a point where I couldn’t keep lying to myself that what I was doing was justified. That day you read Annabel’s diary to me, I…still had a witch tied up in my basement…
“I let her go in the end. The first witch I ever let go… I justcouldn’tkeep doing it. I enjoyed the violence of it all, but I never wanted to hurt innocent people. My problem was that I just didn’t see any witch as innocent for far too long.
“To be honest, all that research, all those books I read here, they were just me trying to either prove that the hunters were right, or further prove how foolish I was to trust everything they had told me. And meeting you…just made me realize how much I needed, how much I wanted, to quit.”
Ollie wanted to believe him…wanted to cling to the idea that Noble had seen the proverbial light, even before they’d met, yet…he still had too many questions.
“What about Mikael?”
“He knew me, and I knew him, because we were both hunters. The organization sent him here with the lie that he and I would work together on a hunt.”
He frowned at that. “It was a lie?”
Noble let out a bitter chuckle. “Yes, they actually sent him here so I could kill him. We never got along, and they knew he would set me off. Believe it or not, hunters offing each other is a common occurrence, and one often forgiven quite easily by those in charge. But after Mikael showed up that first time, I called them. I called them and I told them I was…done.
“There was the worry that they’d investigate, but apparently, I’d been showing signs of wavering in my tasks long enough that they didn’t. He sort of ended up becoming my last task for them. It was what I was working on that week. I had been trying totrack him down so I could kill him. And after finally succeeding that day, I ‘retired’ as a hunter.
“Ollie, I’m not a good person. In fact, I’m probably just as bad as all the villains in the many books on your shelves. But I want you to know, regardless of what happens between us now, there wasnevera single moment where I even considered hurting you… I couldn’t… I looked at you, and every instinct in me wanted to protect you.
“It’s why I tried to distance myself from you after we slept together that first time. I tried to be an asshole and shove you away, but then you cried, and I looked into your eyes, and I just…couldn’t walk away. I was too selfish to do it.” Noble swallowed hard. “I understand if this is it for us. But, please know, and believe me when I say that I wasn’t lying about loving you.”
Ollie stared, with tears in his eyes. It still hurt. It hurt to hear what the man had said, and it hurt to know even just a little bit of what he had done, yet…Ollie still couldn’t…let him go. He felt disgusted in himself that he still wanted Noble despite it all, but he had known that already yesterday. He had known that before ever asking Noble to come over.
And as he wasn’t willing to deny himself the man’s love, no matter how twisted Noble may be, he was just going to have to accept that self-disgust and allow himself to be selfish for once.
Noble was the villain who had his heart, and he didn’t think that was going to change anytime soon.Villain of his heart or not, Noble was his, and he wasn’t able or willing to let him go.
After a moment in his own thoughts, Ollie rasped, “I believe you…and I…I love you, even knowing what you did.” He sniffled, taking a deep breath and slowly letting it out, just barely stopping his tears from falling this time, before he continued. “The truth is, Noble, I don’t have the right to forgive you for what you did. Because I am not the one you wronged. The only onewho can answer the question of who can forgive you is you. But I am going to forgive myself for wanting to be with you.”
Noble stood up abruptly, with a look of hope on his face that almost crushed Ollie, as the man rushed around his desk to hug him. “Thank you, thank you?—”
