“It wasn’t…time.”
Ollie couldn’t stop the bitter laugh that came out at Red’s ridiculous words. “So, the same reason for why I can’t know everything else.”
“It’s more than that, I?—”
He cut him off. “Idon’twant to talk about Noble right now. I just—” Ollie swallowed hard. “—can’t. I saw some things in his house, visions of what he did, and I just…can’t.”
Red winced. “The Unknowing can sometimes be very…informative, in all the ways one doesn’t want.”
“Mm…”
Silence sat heavily between them, and Ollie refused to be the one to break it. He was just too tired.
Red did, though, and when he did, Ollie wished he hadn’t. “Ollie, you… You aren’t useless. You aren’t unworthy. You have a brilliant mind, and I am proud to have you as my child. I was proud to raise you, even though there were so many times I wanted to speak up for you, and to you, but couldn’t. You are so very wanted, and I don’t want you to ever think otherwise.”
Since the truth was that he wasn’t sure he agreed with much of that, he pretended he hadn’t heard a single word, as he said, “I can’t find Pumpkin. I-I think…” His hand closed tightly around the fake fish as he swallowed hard, trying to hold back his tears. “I think she’s g-gone.” Ollie whimpered as a tear finally broke free. “Why… W-why does everyone l-leave me?”
Despite the uncertainties that still stood between them, when Red moved closer, Ollie pulled him onto his lap, his hands shaking as he brushed them over his cat’s fur. “Oh, Ollie, no one leaves you because they want to.”
He let out a watery laugh as he said, “You know that’s not true. P-plenty of people have. Rowden sure did.”
“Ollie, Rowden is an asshole, and always has been. And yes, some people chose to leave you, but none of those people mattered. The ones who mattered, didn’t leave because they wanted to.”
Ollie’s breath stuttered as he sniffled. “But why d-did Pumpkin leave? Was…was she not happy?”
“Ollie, I think you know by now that if she is gone, it isn’t because of that. Some ghosts need very little to pass on. Especially the ghosts of animals. The tether that is keeping them here usually isn’t fueled by anger, and more often than not, it just isn’t as strong as it is for humans. Pumpkin was a kitten, so she likely had even less holding her back. And…the love you gave her was enough.”
He whimpered before a sob forced its way out, as he stuttered, “I-I miss her.”
“I know. And I know it hurts, but you did what you had to. You gave her what she needed to move on. And that was the best thing you could have done for her. And while it hurts, you’ll eventually understand that what you are doing to help these creatures, these ghosts, to move on, as painful as it may be, is worth it. No matter how many missed goodbyes there are in the future, what you did, and will do, will be worth it, Ollie. So cherish the moments you had with her, and those you will have with others in the future, because the effort and care will be worth it.”
He sobbed harder, giving up all attempts at holding back the pain, and just curled around Red, repeating, “I m-miss her.”
“I know…I know…”
Ollie eyed the insurance form on his desk that Elias must have sneakily placed there, knowing he had no intention of filling out. It was just another attempt by his Assistant Director to get the insurance to pay for the already finished repairs. But one couldn’t exactly file a claim without having all those pesky official reports to back it up.
Not to mention, it was a bad idea since a dead body had been involved. Not that he could tell Elias that… Ollie didn’t know where Mikael’s body had gone, only that Red had gotten rid of it ‘somehow’.
But none of it really mattered at the moment, as he wasn’t thinking about insurance, or fires, or dead bodies in relation to himself—Ollie was thinking about Noble. About what he nowknew, and even about the witch hunter’s injuries, which he knew he shouldn’t be thinking about at all.
Tears pricked the corners of his eyes, both angry and devastated, as self-hatred filtered into his heart when he, once again, came to the same conclusion. Despite all he knew—knowing Noble had taken that final step, knowing he had killed who knew how many of his kind, knowing that there were undoubtedly many more horrors he hadn’t witnessed—Ollie still…missed him.
Tomorrow was Sunday again, marking a week since he’d last seen him. He’d had a week to think over every single thing that had happened, and Olliestillloved him!
He still wished he was there. Wished he knew how the man was, and whether he was still hurt, even though every little nick and scratch Ollie had gotten was already gone. He wished the man was holding him, and that he didn’t feel so lost and alone at night. Ollie wished he felt safe again, because he didn’t without Noble. Instead, every night he woke from each horrifying nightmare, feeling utterly alone and helpless! What was worse, without Noble there, all the thoughts and feelings he’d managed to push away, after what happened with Mikael, had come roaring back.
Ollie pressed his face to his desk as his tears broke free, only to jerk back up when Annabel suddenly spoke. “Ollie…”
He stared at her silently before slowly asking, “Did you know too?”
Ollie should have asked sooner. He’d had plenty of time to, yet the reality was, he had avoided talking whenever he could throughout the week. Ollie hadn’t wanted to explain what was going on to those who didn’t know, and he didn’t want to talk to those who knew or were directly involved yet. So, he hadn’t. Though, he supposed, the only person who knew, outside of those directly involved, had been Annabel.
The ghost sighed. “Not at first. But then, it can be hard for me to fully sense things as a ghost, and even more so as just a fragment of one. Though, I did realize…when he rescued you. Despite how injured that hunter was, Noble likely wouldn’t have won if he was just human.”
“Do all witches…who die the way you did, end up the way you are? Fragments?”
“Not always, it depends on the witch hunter who did it. I will say it is rare for witches to become ghosts, but one of the ways we can with certainty is through dying by ritual…by a hunter’s ascension. But there is a way to stop it, I believe, though most hunters don’t. I imagine, for them, it’s just another way to punish and torture us.”
