I want that.
I step in beside Spence, close enough that our arms almost brush. He turns, and the look he gives me is softer. Not the sharp-edged irritation from earlier. “Ryan,” he says. “This is Representative Sterling and his husband, Colin. We’re going to be working on some city initiatives for the youth center.”
I straighten instinctually, slipping into that practiced, polished version of myself. The one everyone expects. “Nice to meet you,” I say, offering my hand. “I’m—”
“Ryan Buterbaugh,” Rep. Sterling cuts in, already reaching for it. “You need no introduction. We’re both big fans.”
I catch Spence rolling his eyes out of the corner of my vision. Colin shakes my hand next, smiling. “We can’t wait for next season. It’s great to meet you.”
“Appreciate that,” I say, easy.
Spence mutters something under his breath I don’t quite catch. Sterling glances at his watch. “I wish we had more time, gentlemen, but we need to head out. Early flight.”
Spence nods, shifting back into business mode. “We’ll connect when you return.” They shake hands again.
“This is going to be great for the kids,” Sterling says warmly. “Thanks for everything, Spencer.”
The Representative and his husband leave together arm in arm. And yeah, that ache in my chest? It’s worse now. I exhale slowly, turning toward Spence, but before I can say anything, a voice cuts through the chatter in the room.
“Butters!”
I look up to see Jason barreling toward me, a mountain of a man trailing behind him. It’s a man I’ve met only a couple of times. Once when he drove our whole crew to a night club opening, and once when he was posted outside Chance’s apartment door when I went to hang with Anthony. I didn’t ask a lot of questions, but I think he’s Chance’s—muscle? Bodyguard?
I’ve gotten bits and pieces of Chance’s story, but I still don’t know all the sordid details of what happened when he disappeared. Or the world he comes from. Anthony just told me it’s the kind of organization you don’t ask questions about.
I was worried about Anthony when Chance first came back, but we had a good bro sesh and he assured me that Chance did what he did to protect him. I can’t explain it, but when I see them together now, I don’t worry about Anthony anymore. The only thing I see when I look at them is love.
Jason strides up and pulls me into a hug. “What’s up, Ciccone?” I laugh, clapping his back.
“I guess we’re doing this, huh?” he says.
“I’m ready,” I say, grinning. I’ve wanted Anthony as my agent for years.”
“He’s the best,” Jason nods.
Spence clears his throat beside me. “Oh—shit, sorry,” I say quickly, realizing they haven’t formally met yet. “Jason, this is Spence. He’s heading up the THRIVE Foundation as well as overseeing the youth center.”
Spence offers his hand. “Spencer Stark.”
“Jason Ciccone. I just play baseball.”
Spence arches a brow, a hint of a smirk. “Just play baseball?”
Jason shakes his head. “What you’re about to do? That’s the bigger deal.” Then he touches Spence’s bicep through his tux jacket. I don’t think I like Jason Ciccone anymore. “I’ve actually been working with Anthony on a coming out plan,” he continues. “I look forward to helping raise awareness for THRIVE once I do.”
Spence’s eyes light up and it might as well be a dagger to my heart. That should be me. I should be the one making his eyes sparkle with excitement over my coming out. I shift my weight, suddenly uncomfortable and full of self-loathing.
Jason glances behind. “You guys know Deacon?”
Deacon, who’s been scanning the room like a human security system, turns his gaze to us and offers a flat, minimal smile. “I do,” I say. “Good to see you, man. This is Spence—”
“I know who all of you are,” Deacon cuts in. It’s not rude. Just factual. I glance between them and notice Jason looking at Deacon. It’s not casual. It’s hungry. Deacon notices. His whole posture shifts, tension creeping into his shoulders, heat crawling up his neck.
Jason grins. “Deacon here is my number one fan.”
Deacon shifts. “I just barely met you tonight.”
“Yeah, but it only took five seconds for you to tell me you’re a fan.” Deacon doesn’t remove his focus from scanning the room, but I see him swallow slightly. Jason punches his arm. “Come on, stud. Buy me a drink and maybe I’ll show you all the lace and straps hiding under this tux.”
