“Probably learned that from you two,” Chance helpfully provides.
Spence just groans, “Fuuuuck.”
Reality starts to sink in, and I begin to spiral. “Oh shit. Oh. Shit. Fuck-fuck-fuckity-fuck-fuck.” I start pacing around the room, hand fisted in my hair. “Oh my God. The team. My contract. Oh fuck…my father.”
I bend over, grabbing my knees, trying to catch my breath. Spence grabs me by the shoulders and straightens me. “Hey. It's going to be okay.”
Then he and Anthony move me over to the couch. Anthony looks at Chance and says, “Go get him some water. Set the recorded video to private while you’re in there. We don’t need any more people doing screen grabs.”
Chance saunters off to the kitchen and Spence says he’s going to grab us shirts. Anthony stands there with his arms folded over his chest and I look at him and say, “What?”
Anthony raises a brow. “I'm pissed at you.”
I lean back on the couch and blow out a breath. “Yeah, well, take a number. There's probably going to be a long line after this.”
Anthony shakes his head. “Not for that. Though, we'll deal with that in a minute.”
Spence comes back in the room, wearing a long sleeve henley, and tosses me a t-shirt. I catch it and start to put it on. Anthony waves his hand between me and Spence. “How long has this been going on? More importantly, how long have you known you aren't straight?”
I just blink at him.
Anthony continues, “Let me be clear. You don't owe anyone that information. But I know you, Ryan. You've always been unapologetically you. So, the fact you haven't said anything, even when I was struggling with it myself, tells me you've been struggling with it as well. So, I ask you again. How long has my best friend been hurting?”
I look down at my palms in my lap. “My whole life, basically.”
“Fuck,” Anthony softly curses.
Then Chance comes in and hands me a glass of water. I look at him. “Thanks.”
“No sweat,” Chance says, then he turns and looks at Anthony. “Totally called it.”
My mouth drops and Anthony smacks Chance's chest. “Stop. Go rustle up some snacks in the kitchen. This is going to take a minute.”
Chance leans in. “You got it, baby,” then kisses Anthony softly on the lips. Anthony gently pushes him toward the kitchen. “Just don't try to cook anything.”
Chance barks a laugh. “Love you, too.”
Spence and I exchange a look and it hits me hard that the whole world knows I'm gay now—but it probably still won't matter to Spence. The moment I just watched between Anthony and Chance, that's what I want, damn it. It just makes me feel worse and now I've got to deal with what's going to be a huge scandal. It's probably already up on TMZ's website and socials.
Anthony looks between me and Spence. “And you two?”
I sigh and run a hand through my hair. “Well, you know we've been hanging out since I met Spence that night Chance showed back up.”
“We don't talk about that,” Chance chirps from the kitchen.
Anthony rolls his eyes and I continue, “But we've been hooking up since my birthday last August.”
I can see Anthony doing the math in his head. “That's fifteen months, Ryan.”
I nod. “Yep.” Then I blow out a breath. “I'm sorry. You're my agent. I should have given you a heads-up. You know,” and I wave in the direction of the tablet in the kitchen, “for situations like this.”
Anthony pulls his phone out of his pocket. “First of all, what is this agent bullshit? I’m your friend—yourfamily—first. I just wish I could have been there for you is all.”
I pick at my nail, not knowing what to say. “Look,” Anthony continues. “As your agent, would it have been better for me to be prepared ahead of time? Sure. But with something like this, Ryan, there's no right timing. It's my job to be prepared for the unexpected.”
He starts scrolling his phone and I see his eyes flare a couple times. I lean forward on the couch, elbows on my knees, and I feel the heat of tears breaking free and falling down my face. I break into a sob and my vision is blurred from the tears. I sense someone crouching down in front of me. I look up through blurry eyes, expecting to see my friend, Anthony. Instead, it's Spence, who immediately grasps my face between his hands and soothes, “Hey. You'll get through this. We're all here for you.”
I laugh, almost sardonically, shaking my head. “These are happy tears, Spence. I don't have to hide anymore.”
