‘Oh God, not theit’s not you, it’s meline?’
‘Jennifer!’ I said loudly enough to be shushed by the librarian, even though no one else was there.
I leaned in close and spoke to her more quietly.
‘I would love us to do stuff outside school.’
‘But … ?’
‘No but, it was a statement.’
She laughed.
‘Oh right,’ she said. ‘So is that you saying yes?’
‘To what?’
‘Oh my God, blood from a stone! To us … maybe … you know, getting closer?’
I felt something in my body. In my stomach and below.
‘Definitely,’ I said.
We stayed as long as we could before the librarian called home time. With all the excitement flooding my body that afternoon with Jennifer, a weekend with nothing else to do other than study and wait for my first exam to arrive felt like such a dampener.
On Saturday night, after dinner, I was in my room reading over my notes like I had been doing all day, except for a walk in the park that morning and a driving lesson with Dad in the afternoon.
‘Knock knock,’ came Mum’s voice on the other side of the door.
‘Yeah?’
‘Dessert?’ she said, coming in with a bowl and a spoon sticking up in it. ‘Ice cream. The cookie dough one.’
‘I didn’t know we had the cookie dough one.’
‘We didn’t, but I ran up to Sainsbury’s when you were out driving and picked up a tub.’
She brought the bowl over and I took a big spoonful, biting down into the soft ice to find a chewy chunk of dough. I think Mum must have fished out as many chunks as she could because there were loads.
‘How’s the recapping going?’ she said.
‘Good, yeah.’
‘Need any help?’
‘No, just reading over my notes – you wouldn’t be able to read my handwriting anyway.’
‘Well, if you change your mind …’
She hovered in the doorway. I could feel it was one of those moments where Mum wanted to be more affectionate but didn’t have whatever confidence was needed to do it naturally.
‘If your granny were still here she’d be praying to St Joseph for you,’ she said.
‘What’s he the patron saint of?’
‘Exams. And pilots.’
‘That’s some combination.’
