Ronan and me looked at each other.
‘You know, Annie,’ I said, ‘I think that’s the very thing we’ve started to do today.’
Before we left, I thanked Annie once again and said we’d see her next time and she said we’d be more than welcome as long as we didn’t treat the museum like a Formula One track.
Matty was sitting on the kerb smoking. He spotted us and threw his cigarette away.
‘Yous weren’t that long,’ he said, ‘mustn’t’ve been all that interestin’, was it?’
Ronan tried to turn his head towards me. I could see the corner of his mouth grinning.
‘Yeah,’ I said, ‘pretty boring really.’
Driving home, Ronan was looking out his window and I was looking out mine, the world whizzing past. I could feel Matty sneaking glances at us in the mirror. I looked up and caught him once; I could only see his eyes. He winked at me; I winked back.
39
All the adults in my life seemed to be treating my fast-approaching exams as if they were a cluster of storms that they needed to shelter me from in any way possible.
On the first Buddy Time after the museum visit I couldn’t wait to see Ronan and pick up where we’d left off. But he was very quiet and seemed to be in a sombre mood. I understood why when Mr and Mrs McCoy came to join us. In such a short period I had become attuned to them; naturally feeling their energy, enjoying their quirks and, at that moment, bracing myself for when they had something difficult to say.
‘Brendan,’ said Mrs McCoy, ‘we’ve had this conversation with Ronan already and it’s something he understands. I need you to know that.’
‘OK,’ I said. ‘Why do I feel worried?’
‘Don’t be,’ she said. ‘We know this isn’t going to be easy but we really do feel it’s necessary. Over these months you’ve given more than we could have ever thought possible to Ronan and your friendship, you’ve also been a force of positivity for both Aaron and myself at a time when we were in a bit of a dip. Butit’s time for us to give a little something back to you. It might feel like the opposite, like we’re taking something away, but please, please believe me when I say that this is really something you will thank us for down the line.’
‘OK,’ I said. ‘I’m still worried.’
‘I’m not very good at this, am I?’ She laughed nervously. ‘Brendan, what I’m trying to say is that we’re going to put a pause on your Buddy Times until you’ve finished your exams.’
‘What? Why?’
‘These exams are the keys to your future, they’ll be carried with you the rest of your life,’ she said.
‘No pressure there, Emma,’ said Mr McCoy.
‘Oh goodness, I really am very bad at this.’
‘We think you need as much time to yourself as possible to be focused,’ said Mr McCoy. ‘And Ronan agrees.’
I looked at Ronan, he nodded once but his eyes were sad.
‘It’s only a few weeks, isn’t it?’ said Mr McCoy gently.
‘Well, not really, no,’ I said. ‘My first exam is Monday and then they’re all spread out until the end of term.’
‘Well, after tonight we’ll take the Buddy Time pressure off you …’
‘But it’s not pressure, Mrs McCoy, it’s … theopposite!’
I was desperate to keep my evenings with Ronan because we’d just scratched the surface of him beginning to tell me what had happened on the day of the accident – hewantedme to know. I had already imagined the coming weeks in my head; Ronan helping me piece together the puzzle of what he meant in the museum when he showed me the barley field and the train disaster and the clock face and when he said ‘time machine’. I knew exams were important, but Ronan wasmoreimportant.
‘Please?’ I tried.
Mr and Mrs McCoy looked at each other. I was almost sureI’d managed to convince them to change their minds until Ronan spoke.
‘Noh … Brah—din … noh.’
