‘See you after,’ I said.
Dad drove. When we arrived at the test centre we sat there, side by side in the same car we’d spent hours in together, knowing that the next hour would be my first one behind the wheel without him.
‘Dad,’ I said, ‘thanks for everything.’
‘You’ve got it in your bones, Brendan,’ he said, ‘you’ve got it in there,’ he said, pointing to my head, ‘and in there,’ he said, tapping my chest. ‘Just as long as you don’t let it come out of there,’ he said, leaning forward and pointing to his bum. I couldn’t help bursting out laughing for how stupid the joke was and how much I maybe needed relief from the nerves.
‘But seriously, Brendan,’ he said, ‘you’ll be grand. Just do your best.’
‘It’s all you can do,’ I said.
He clapped me on the shoulder and nodded. I looked forward through the windscreen and nodded too. I took a breath, opened the door and walked across the tarmac for my test to begin.
To say the test went by in a blur wouldn’t be true, that would imply that it went quickly, which it didn’t, it was more like the memory of it was a blur once it was over and I was sitting in the car with the examiner as he scratched a pen on his clipboard totting up whatever points I had got or had lost. My underarms were soaking wet. My heart had been going double speed the whole time and I must have been holding my breath for long periods because I felt lightheaded. I looked through the driver’s side window to see Dad sitting in the Honda at the opposite end of the car park; his nose could have been touching the glass for how far forward he seemed to be leaning.
‘Well, Brendan,’ said the examiner.
My head snapped from Dad to him.
‘I’m pleased to tell you …’
I don’t know what else he said because I drowned him out with some sort of bellow; it sounded just like how Ronan and me greeted each other in our laughter language. I spun my head back to Dad and beamed my face across the car park and he mirrored my beam back like a beacon. The examiner wasstill saying things but I wasn’t hearing him, he handed me the sheet from his clipboard, I think I thanked him. Then, in an instant, I was at the other side of the car park with Dad.
‘Can we go to Ronan now?’ I said.
‘Aye,’ he said, holding the keys up, ‘but you’re driving.’
I turned the key, started the engine, did all the things my dad taught me how to do and drove.
When I parked up at the hospital I peeled the L plate off the front windscreen.
‘I’ll get the back one,’ said Dad.
We ran towards the front doors of the hospital where I could see Jennifer standing beside a bench. She quickly turned and hunched over with her back to us when she spotted us. When we got closer she peeked round and held up a finger as she turned back to the bench.
‘Two seconds, two seconds!’ she said.
Dad and me slowed to a walk, and just as we reached her Jennifer turned round holding a chocolate-frosted cake with a ring of candles lit all round it.
‘I can’t light the candles inside,’ she said, ‘so we’ll have to do it here, sorry. Happy birthday.’
‘Jennifer,’ I said, not knowing what else to say. I hadn’t expected this.
‘Go on,’ she said, ‘blow them out and seal your birthday wish.’
In my head I made the wish again:
I wish Ronan will be awake for my birthday.
I blew; they all went out.
‘Now go!’ said Jennifer. ‘I’ll come along in a bit with this all sliced up.’
I wanted to hug her, I wanted to kiss her, I wanted to lift her up and swing her around.
‘Go!’ she said.
I ran into the hospital with Dad following behind and took the same route to Ronan’s room in record speed. Even the lift was open on the ground floor waiting for us and it was a non-stop ride to Intensive Care. We ran down the corridor and knocked on Ronan’s door.
