‘If Katy had had kids with Simon, would you have let that put you off?’
Luke grinned. ‘Not for a minute. But even so, you must be certain, because it’s a huge commitment.’
‘I’ve always wanted kids,’ Sam said with absolute certainty. ‘A family. A home. Like this place – full of love and happiness. Imagine coming home to a loving wife and kids every evening. Just imagine it.’
‘Well,’ Luke said thoughtfully, ‘obviously I don’thaveto imagine it. But it worries me a bit. Are you sure you’re not just latching on to Jenna for the wrong reasons?’
‘What do you mean by that?’
Luke held up his hands. ‘Don’t sound so defensive. I wasn’t having a go. I’m just thinking that, for a long time now, you’ve been broody for a family of your own, and you’ve talked about having a home, a wife and kids for ages. Well, Jenna’s got a home, and she’s got kids and – no, don’t look at me like that, Sam. Hear me out.’
He sighed and shuffled back in his chair. ‘I don’t want to insult you or anything, but I’m just thinking that it would be super convenient, wouldn’t it? A woman who comes with a house and ready-made children. I’m not saying it’s a deliberate choice. Just, are you absolutely sure that you’d still feel the same about Jenna, even if she was a single woman living with her mum?’
Sam knew Luke well enough to know that he wasn’t being deliberately provocative. He was genuinely worried, and his concerns deserved some consideration. But even as he gave the matter some thought, he knew it wasn’t the case at all. It was Jenna he loved, with or without everything that went with her.
‘If Jenna was single and childless, and she told me she could never have children,’ he said slowly, ‘I’d still want to be with her. It’sher, Luke. The moment she sneaked into the pub that night, looking so… so bloody fragile and beautiful, I knew it was her. I’ve never felt that way before. Like a kick in the guts. She’s special. She’s the one.’
‘Blimey,’ Luke said wonderingly, ‘it seems like you’ve finally met her then. Miss Right.’
‘Trouble is,’ Sam said, ‘she’sMrsRight. And that makes it all a lot more complicated, as you said. Honestly, I just don’t know if she’s over Joel yet, even though he’s an absolute git and makes Simon look like Britain’s most eligible bachelor.’
‘Bloody hell!’
‘I know!’ Sam laughed. ‘But seriously, if she’s still not over him, after everything he’s done to her… Maybe I just have to accept that she never will be. And if whatever it is she feels for me isn’t enough to make her see that Joel’s no good – well, I don’t know what else I can do.’
‘I’m sorry, Sam,’ Luke said kindly. ‘I can only hope that she sees sense in the end.’
Sam nodded. It was all he could hope, too. The question was, how long should he wait before admitting it was never going to happen, and giving up on Jenna for good?
Katy dropped Sam off outside The North Star at half past nine that evening, because Luke and Sam had gone into Millensea earlier for a few drinks and a curry, at her insistence.
‘Luke never gets to enjoy an evening with his mates,’ she’d told Sam. ‘The least he deserves is a bloody beer. I’ll take you home if you get a taxi back here and you can pick the car up tomorrow, or we’ll drop it off for you. It’s no problem.’
As she pulled up outside the pub she nodded at the bay windows, through which the lighted room, packed with happy revellers, was clearly visible. ‘Wow! Still busy in there, I see.’
‘Yes. Still summer season for a while longer. It starts to quieten down a bit from mid-September, although it always ticks over, thank God.’ Realising what he’d said, he sighed. ‘Not that it will matter to us much longer. Someone else’s problem soon.’
‘Do you think you’ll still come here to drink sometimes?’ she asked gently.
‘Honestly?’ Sam glanced at the pub that he’d loved, heart and soul, all his life. The place he’d always thought of as home, even when he’d had his own flat in Millensea. Would he still think of it as home when his dad no longer lived there? ‘I just don’t know,’ was the best answer he could give her.
‘See you soon, Sam,’ she told him as he climbed out of the car.
He waved to her as she reversed and drove back towards Weltringham. For a moment he stood, staring at the river, then as if compelled by some invisible force, he walked to the corner of the road and gazed across at Watersmeet.
There was the faintest light visible from between the dark trees that surrounded the garden, shielding it from passers-by. He thought about the people inside. It was Jenna’s night off and he wondered if she was in bed already. Or was she sitting in the living room with her mum and Mac, drinking tea and watching the television? Was she gazing out of her bedroom window at the black waters of the Humber, thinking about him as he was thinking about her? Or was it, he wondered brokenly, still Joel who occupied her thoughts?
He would probably never know. His shoulders drooped as he headed into The North Star, letting the buzz of conversation and the occasional shouts of laughter wash over him. As he headed into the bar to check everything was okay, he stopped, astonished to see his dad standing behind the counter, deep in conversation with Stella. He’d left the bar in Cathy’s and Briar’s capable hands and hadn’t expected Seb to make another appearance.
‘Everything okay, Dad? Hi, Stella. What are you doing here?’ he asked, smiling. He knew she was on his side about the future of The North Star, which he’d be forever grateful for, even if it hadn’t worked out as they’d hoped. More than that, though, he thought she was good for his dad. Their little chats always seemed to cheer him up, and she certainly told him what she thought. There were no guessing games with Stella.
His father waved a hand in greeting, and Stella looked round, a huge smile on her face.
‘Hello, Sam. We were just chatting about carveries,’ she told him cheerfully.
Sam frowned. ‘Were you? What about them?’ It was only a few weeks ago he’d tried to talk to his dad about starting a carvery here, but his father had shown no interest back then, so it was a bit surprising that he was willing to have a conversation about them with Stella.
‘Stella was saying that we ought to have one here,’ Seb said.
