‘I should be back by half past two at the latest,’ she promised.
‘Don’t hurry back on my account,’ Mum said. ‘If you fancy doing a bit of shopping in town or even taking the girls to the museums or to the cinema, that’s fine by me.’
‘Do you want rid of us?’ Jenna asked warily.
Her mum’s eyes widened and she pulled Jenna into a hug. ‘Of course not, you daft ha’p’orth! I just want you to have a nice time, that’s all. I worry about you, love.’
Jenna managed a smile. ‘Thanks, Mum. I’ll be?—’
‘Fine,’ her mum finished for her with a roll of the eyes. ‘Yes, you keep saying. See you later, love. Have a good time.’
She waved them off and the twins shrieked with excitement to be on their way to see their father after what must have felt like an eternity to them.
But as they made their way to Hull, Jenna couldn’t help noticing that all their talk was of visiting the shopping centre and getting burgers and milkshakes.
It was as if meeting their dad had no significance to them at all.
As Joel explained to the twins the different types of burgers they could choose from, Jenna was left in no doubt that he’d been here before. Probably more than once.Definitelymore than once.
Jealousy prickled her skin as she listened to him rabbiting on about how delicious the fries were, and how they could have one of the yummy ice creams for dessert if they ate all their burgers.
‘Let’s call it an early birthday treat,’ he suggested. ‘You can have whatever you like.’
Joel had never been one for burger bars, and she’d have thought he’d have been pretty scathing about this one, with its bright orange and yellow decor, and the staff dressed in their green dungarees and jaunty hats. He wouldn’t have chosen to eat here if it had been up to him, sosomeonehad suggested it to him. Probablyinsistedon them eating there.
Her.
No doubt about it. How many times had Joel andNettiecome here to eat in their lunch hour, Jenna wondered, while she’d been at home or at work, completely oblivious to what was going on behind her back?
She felt sick, and the smell of fried food wafting through the air towards their table didn’t help.
Joel glanced up at her. ‘What do you want to eat?’ he asked bluntly, no hint of warmth in his voice.
‘Just a coffee for me,’ she said. ‘I’m not very hungry.’
He didn’t express any concern or try to persuade her to eat something. He just nodded and said to the girls, ‘I won’t be long.’
She watched him heading over to the counter to place their order. He looked well. Tall and fair and smart as ever in his work suit. His hair was neatly combed. His tie was straight. His shirt was ironed. He didn’t look at all crumpled or stressed or tired. She doubted he’d had a single sleepless night since he’d left her. Well, not because of worry anyway…
Her stomach turned at the thought of another reason he might be having sleepless nights, and she shoved the menus back in their stand on the table with undue force.
The twins gave her sideways looks, clearly aware that all wasn’t well.
She couldn’t help thinking that they hadn’t exactly rushed into their father’s arms when they’d spotted him sitting at this table.
‘Oh look, there’s Daddy,’ had been Hallie’s casual remark as they’d walked into the burger bar and stood, scanning the room.
Ada had waved and ‘Daddy’ had waved back. Jenna had just been grateful to see that he was alone. They needed to talk and she really hoped they’d get the chance. Maybe Joel’s sudden need to see them was a sign that he was missing them. Missing home life. Missingher. Maybe, after today, he’d remember what he’d walked away from and see sense. Maybe, just maybe, he’d come home tonight.
His first words to her, however, weren’t exactly reassuring. As she’d sat down opposite him at the table, he’d stared at her and said, ‘Oh, are you staying?’
Jenna’s face had burned with embarrassment and hurt. ‘Of course I am. I can’t leave them alone, can I? You’re going back to work soon.’
‘I thought maybe you’d be shopping or something…’ He shrugged. ‘Oh well. I suppose it’ll be okay.’
It had been on the tip of her tongue to ask him if he needed permission to have lunch with his own wife, but she managed to keep quiet.
Now, as the twins sat in subdued silence waiting for him to return from the counter, she thought how unbearable this whole situation was and wondered if she was going to have the strength to see it through. Clearly, Joel had no intention of coming home any time soon. This thing withher, whatever it was, had to run its course, and it wasn’t over yet.
