Jenna checked up on the girls several times throughout the evening and each time she found them happily playing snakes and ladders with Seb, or colouring pictures in their colouring books and showing the results of their hard work to him, or slurping on hot chocolate, which they’d managed to persuade him to make for them.
They seemed perfectly content and Seb was smiling, so she felt a bit easier, and Sam was great because whenever he had a spare moment he dashed upstairs, too, just so he could report back to her. She knew he had no concerns at all and was simply trying to put her mind at ease, but she trusted him and was grateful that he’d gone to so much effort for her.
At the end of the shift, when the last of the customers had drifted home, she and Sam headed wearily upstairs, exchanging glances as excited shrieks and bursts of laughter drifted towards them.
They opened the living room door and saw Seb and the twins on the floor, playing what looked like a frantic game of Frustration.
‘A six!’ Ada shrieked. ‘That means I can get my last piece out and… haha, I can knock you out, Seb.’
‘Never in this world,’ Seb said, shaking his head. ‘How do you keep getting all these sixes? I’ve only got one of my pieces home and you’re on your last one now. Are you sure you two aren’t cheating?’
‘How can we cheat? We just pop the bubble like you do,’ Hallie said, all wide-eyed and innocent.
As Sam cleared his throat, Seb and the twins looked up, and Jenna’s hand flew to her throat at the unexpected sight of the laughter in his eyes. His face was completely transformed. She’d never seen him look so bright and happy – and alive.
She glanced at Sam and saw from his expression that it was a long time since he’d seen it, too. She saw him swallow and his fists clench as if he was trying to keep a rein on his emotions. Without thinking, she reached over and put her hand on his arm.
‘These two are little monkeys,’ Seb said, shaking his head. ‘You ought to send them out pickpocketing. They’d make you a fortune. Born crooks they are! Devious.’
Hallie and Ada giggled even as they protested their innocence. Jenna suspected that, between them, they’d found plenty of ways to steal the game from Seb, and that he didn’t really mind a bit.
Sam turned to look at her as his dad and the twins began to – regretfully – pack the board game away. She saw the tears gleaming in his eyes and knew that tonight Sam had seen a glimpse of his dad the way he used to be, before life had played its cruellest trick on him, before he’d given up and withdrawn into himself, becoming a mere shadow of the person he once was.
She smiled at him, and he smiled back.
Unbidden, the words of William Wordsworth came to her mind. Like the image of the daffodils that had lifted the poet’s heart whenever he remembered them, she knew that in future times this scene would return to Sam, and his heart, too, would fill with pleasure and dance.
It had been a long time since he’d had any reason to hope that his dad was still in there somewhere, trapped inside that shell of a man. Being with the twins had worked a miracle. It might not last, but it was hope.
She knew that it was what Sam had needed, more than anything.
13
Jenna hated dental appointments. Even so, things would have to be absolutely dire before she’d miss one, because these days dental practices seemed to be just waiting for you to do something annoying, so they had an excuse to remove you from their list.
She had several friends who’d had to travel miles for emergency dental treatment because they couldn’t find an NHS dentist who was taking on new patients. Jenna had been with this particular practice for years, and she was clinging on to it as long as she could.
It was a nice one, to be fair. Light and airy and modern. She remembered as a child going to a dental practice above a shop, and it had been dark and gloomy. She was glad when that dentist had retired and Mum had found them a new one based in a health centre.
She wasn’t sure why she dreaded the appointments anyway. There was never anything wrong with her teeth. Sure enough, today’s check-up consisted of an examination, a scale and polish, and a satisfied (perfect) smile from the dentist who told her to return in six months.
Relieved, Jenna paid the bill at the reception, made another appointment and headed out into the August sunshine, glad that she wouldn’t have to deal with that mini trauma again until February.
As she got in her car, she sat for a moment, wondering where she’d be in February. What would life be like six months from now?
Surely, Joel would be home by then? She was still hopeful that he’d have come to his senses by the end of the school holidays. She wasn’t sure she could face returning to work with this terrible secret still locked away inside her. And how long could she get away with not telling the twins the truth? They might have fallen for her story that he was away with work, but for how much longer?
It was their birthday in less than two weeks. They’d be eight years old. Would Joel come to see them? Would he even remember?
The truth was, she’d always been the one to organise treats and presents for the girls’ birthday, and she wasn’t even sure Joel had known what the exact date of it was. What if he forgot? Should she remind him?
But if she reminded him, he might accuse her of using that as an excuse to get in touch with him.
Shemight accuse her. Annette. Jenna could just picture her whispering into his ear, the two of them laughing at her.
At least, she couldvaguelypicture it, but not accurately. She had, after all, no idea what this Annette person even looked like. She’d never met Joel’s secretary, and he’d been very careful not to mention her much.
Thinking about it, she realised that when Annette had first started at the company, he’d talked about her a lot and somehow Jenna had got the impression that she was an older woman – middle-aged even. He had often remarked on how efficient she was, and how well she was settling in. But gradually, he’d stopped saying anything about her.
