‘Oh, aye? And what does that mean?’
‘Briar’s going on holiday. Last-minute thing. It means I’m going to be short-staffed for a couple of weeks, what with Cathy already being off for a fortnight as of yesterday. And you know how busy it gets at this time of year. So I was thinking, maybe it’s time you came back to work.’
His dad turned the sausages over in the pan, his lips pursed.
Sam watched him, waiting for some response, but none came.
‘Dad?’
Seb gave him a brief look. ‘I told you, I’ve finished with all that.’
‘But that was then! Surely, after all this time, you’re ready to start in the pub again? You must be bored stiff hanging around here all day. It’s not good for you, Dad!’
‘I’m perfectly happy up here, thanks very much.’
‘Happy? How can you be happy? You do nothing but sleep, eat, and watch television! That’s not a life!’
‘It’s more than your mother has,’ Seb said quietly.
Sam swallowed. ‘Do you think she’d want this for you? Mum loved this place. She was the heart and soul of The North Star.’
‘Aye, she was. And now she’s gone I don’t see the point. The place isn’t the same. Why would I want to go down there and see those rooms empty? Because they would be, you know. Empty. Doesn’t matter how many customers you’ve got. If Donna’s not there it’ll be empty, and I can’t… I can’t…’
He shook his head and turned back to the pan, flipping the bacon over and glaring at the spitting fat, as if it was purposely trying to annoy him.
Sam threw up his hands in despair. ‘Well, I can’t go on like this much longer. This was supposed to be a temporary thing – me living and working here. I gave up my job. I gave up my flat?—’
‘I never asked you to!’ His dad’s tone was sharp, accusing. ‘I told you I wanted to sell up but you wouldn’t have it, would you? You can’t go blaming me now if you’re fed up. You should have let me sell the place when I first told you about it, instead of thinking you knew best, like you always do.’
Sam stared at him. ‘What do you mean by that?’
‘Treat me like a kid, don’t you? Like I haven’t got a mind of my own. Do you think I don’t know? Do you think I don’t see what’s in your mind?Poor Dad. Lost his marbles since Mum died. Can’t function without her. She was the one who sorted everything out for him. Without her he’s nothing. I’ll have to step in and take over until he comes to his senses.’
‘It wasn’t like that…’
But had it been? It was true that his mum had taken care of his dad in every way possible. She’d certainly made all the important decisions and Dad just went along with her. He’d been devoted to her. He’d give her anything. Without her, it really seemed like he had no purpose, no direction.
‘It’sexactlylike that. You think I can’t make a decision without your mum to hold my hand. Well, I made a decision, didn’t I? I said I wanted shot of the pub, and you said no.Youdecidedmydecision wasn’t good enough, so there you go. Overruled, I was. Like I was a daft kid who couldn’t make choices for myself. So you’ve made your bed and as far as I’m concerned you can lie in it. This pub’s your responsibility. I told you, do what you like with it and leave me out of it.’
Sam watched, dumbstruck, as his dad heaped the sausages and bacon onto a plate, pouring hot baked beans over them.
As Seb gave him a satisfied smirk and sat at the table, it was too much for Sam.
‘You’ve turned into a selfish prat, do you know that?’
‘Oh, that’s what you think, is it?’
‘I gave up everything to help you!’
‘I didn’t ask you to. I didn’t want you to. I told you what I wanted, and you ignored me.’
‘Because I thought you’d regret it! I thought it was too soon after Mum’s death for you to make such a big decision, and I didn’t want you to lose the pub and your home and then wish you hadn’t. Because once you’d sold it, there’d be no going back. Not ever.’
‘And who says I want to?’
‘But you’ve always lived here!’
‘Livedhere?’ His father gave a bitter laugh. ‘Oh, son. Do you really think this is living?’ He shook his head. ‘Now your mum’s gone it’s not a life, not any more. I’m just existing. Passing time until I can be with her again. I can do that anywhere. What do I care about bricks and mortar? Yourmumwas my North Star. This is just a building, and I don’t give a monkey’s what happens to it or where I end up living. So now you know.’
