‘I know what you mean,’ Jenna said wearily. ‘I may only have known about two affairs for certain, but I’ve suspected many times over the years that there were others. In fact, deep down I didn’t just suspect. I knew. I just refused to face up to it.’
‘He doesn’t deserve you, Jenna,’ Louis said quietly. ‘I know he’s my friend but honestly, his behaviour is unbelievably bad. I don’t know how you’ve put up with him all these years.’
‘He gives us crumbs,’ she said bleakly. ‘Breadcrumbs. He treats us appallingly, then now and then he’ll be lovely to us and everything’s wonderful and he’s the best husband and father, and we’re so relieved and bloody grateful that we forgive him anything. When you’re starving, even breadcrumbs are a banquet.’
Louis stared at her. ‘But you shouldn’t have to put up with that! Why haven’t you kicked him out?’
She’d asked herself the same question many times and still wasn’t sure of the answer. Because the twins needed their father? Because Joel was all she knew? The first boyfriend she’d ever had. Theonlyboyfriend she’d ever had. The only man she’d ever slept with. Her everything.
And she kept hoping, hoping things would change. That he’d love her the way he used to do when they first met. Love her the way he’d promised her he always would. Love her the way she so desperately needed to be loved.
Saying goodbye would mean letting that dream go. Because what if she did end her marriage and then he changed? People did sometimes. Would some other woman get the love and loyalty that should have been Jenna’s?
She knew it was a crazy way to think but she couldn’t help it. She couldn’t bring herself to give up on Joel. On the dream. He’d sworn to her that he loved her and would always love her and she clung to the belief that one day he’d remember that and everything would be all right again.
No wonder Louis was looking at her with pity. She was pathetic.
‘Well,’ she said with a heavy sigh, ‘you’re not taking his things.’ She lifted her chin and gave Louis a fierce look. ‘If he wants them, the least he can do is come here to collect them himself. And while he’s here, he can explain things to me, and to his daughters. Why shouldIhave to tell them? He’s a coward and I’m not going to cover for him. Let him do his own dirty work.’
Louis nodded with approval, and, it had to be said, relief. ‘I’ll pass the message on, Jenna.’
He got to his feet. ‘If there’s anything I can do to help in the meantime, just let me know. Honestly, if you just need to talk, I’m only at the other end of the phone. I know Joel’s my pal, but you are too. We’ve known each other a long time and I hate that he’s done this to you again. Promise me you’ll ask if you need me?’
Jenna nodded, knowing perfectly well that she wouldn’t dream of turning to Louis for help. This wasn’t his problem and she didn’t see why she should drag him into it.
‘Well, I’d better be off,’ he said awkwardly.
Jenna led him into the hallway, and he popped his head round the living room door where the twins were engrossed in some children’s programme.
‘I’m off, girls,’ he said. ‘Be good for your mummy, okay?’
‘We always are,’ Hallie said indignantly.
‘Bye, Uncle Louis. Thanks for the sweets,’ called Ada.
Louis closed the door and gave Jenna a sad smile. ‘They’re good girls. A credit to you, Jenna. No thanks to Joel.’
She saw him out and waved him off, a smile plastered to her face. Then she closed the door and leaned against it, tears burning her eyes. What now?
She was alone with two seven-year-old daughters, the school summer holidays upon them, and a broken heart to deal with. How could he do this to her again? He knew how much it had hurt her the last time he’d left. It had almost broken her completely, and now here he was putting her through the same devastating misery. What waswrongwith him?
And what, she thought, brushing tears away as she headed back into the kitchen, was wrong withher, when her own husband couldn’t love her? When he needed to seek out the company of other women to be happy?
What had she done wrong? How had she failed so spectacularly?
And how was she ever going to cope without him?
5
Briar certainly knew how to put on a pleading expression.
‘I know it’s short notice?—’
‘Short notice?’ Sam gave a brief laugh. ‘You can say that again. You’re really going away the day after tomorrow?’
‘It was a last-minute thing. My mate Cassie was going to Majorca with her two cousins, but one of them’s been taken to hospital with appendicitis so there’s no chance of her going now, and they want me to make up the group in her place. I’ve never been abroad, except for a trip on the ferry to Rotterdam.Please, Sam?’
Sam saw the desperation in her eyes and sighed. She was like a sad puppy. How could he refuse?
