Finn was smiling the easy one, the real one. Evan crossed the room and put his palms on Finn’s face. Warm skin under his hands. Soap and sweat and the scent he had been breathing in film rooms and parking lots for months. He had been holding himself away from it. He let go now. Drew a full breath with Finn’s jaw between his palms.
“I missed you. Every day. Your name on my calendar in gold that I kept telling myself was operational.” Evan’s thumb brushed Finn’s cheekbone, the first rough hint of stubble, the heat of blood close to the surface. “I missed you in the way of knowing exactly where you were in the building at any given time and pretending I didn’t.”
Finn’s throat moved. “That’s a very specific kind of missing someone.”
“It’s the only kind I know how to do.”
Finn kissed him. Evan let himself be kissed. Warm and firm, Finn’s fists gathering the front of Evan’s shirt and pulling the fabric tight across his shoulders. Different this time. No next moment to calculate. No hallway waiting. Just Finn’s fists in his shirt and the taste of coffee and cold air and the radiator ticking beneath the window.
Evan walked Finn backward until his knees hit the mattress and he sat. Evan stood looking down at him. Finn tipped his face up in the amber light, lips parted, fists still twisted in Evan’s shirt.
“Lights on,” Evan said.
Finn’s gaze widened a fraction, then steadied. “Okay.”
Evan caught the hem of Finn’s shirt and dragged it up. Knuckles brushing warm skin, the muscles of Finn’s stomach tensing under the touch. Finn lifted his arms. The shirt came off. Finn’s fingers worked Evan’s buttons, steady, the fabric parting to bare skin. When the last button slipped free Finn pushed the shirt off Evan’s shoulders and it dropped to the carpet.
Evan looked. Lights on. No film-room shadows, no dashboard glow. The amber lamp caught the planes of Finn’s chest, the shallow shadow between his ribs, the trail of hair below his navel that had always been hidden before. Lighter than Evan expected, almost gold in this light.
They moved onto the bed. Evan braced above Finn on his forearms, the mattress dipping, sheets cool against overheated skin.
“Hi,” Finn said, voice low.
“Hi,” Evan answered, and kissed him.
He took his time. Lips tracing Finn’s jaw, finding the tight muscle at the hinge and pressing until it loosened. No rush. No version of himself to reassemble afterward. Just this bed, these lights, Finn watching him.
Finn’s fingers slid into Evan’s hair, gripping at the roots. Brown eyes steady. Evan held the gaze and Finn held it back.
Evan pressed his mouth to Finn’s throat where the pulse beat hard. Worked lower. Tongue along the ridge of collarbone, teeth scraping skin over sternum. Finn’s grip tightened in his hair. Hips rolled up, cock already hard against denim. Evan kissed the trail of hair below Finn’s navel and Finn’s stomach contracted, breathing gone thin.
Evan opened Finn’s jeans. Dragged them down narrow hips, thighs, taking the boxer briefs with them. Finn kicked them free and lay there naked, hard, cock flushed and curved toward his belly, thighs open, palms loose on the sheets.
Evan’s breath left him in a rush.
He had had Finn in the dark. Never like this. Full length in lamplight. Flush spreading from cheeks down throat and across chest. Cock wet at the tip. Thighs trembling slightly with the effort of staying open.
“You’re looking at me like you’ve never seen me before,” Finn said. Voice rough at the edges.
“Yeah.” Evan ran one palm flat down Finn’s chest, over ribs, across stomach. “I am.”
He wrapped his fist around Finn’s cock and stroked. Slow. Watching the whole time. The way Finn’s lips parted. The way his head tipped back and his throat lengthened. Evan tightened on the upstroke and Finn’s hips bucked, breath punching out.
“Fuck. Evan.”
Evan dragged his thumb over the head on every pass, spreading the slick already leaking there. Finn’s thighs tensed. One hand found Evan’s shoulder, gripping hard. Eyes open. Locked on Evan’s face. In every hidden moment before they had buried their faces in each other’s necks. Not now. Finn let himself be seen and watched Evan seeing him and every broken sound he made hit the hotel walls and came back.
“I need more.” Finn’s voice cracked. “I need you.”
Evan kissed him deep, fist still working between them. Then he reached for the nightstand, slicked his fingers.
“Look at me,” Evan said.
Finn did.
Evan pressed one finger inside. Finn’s breath caught, body tightening around the intrusion. Evan held still, other palm flat on Finn’s hip, thumb stroking bone. Finn exhaled. Loosened. Evan pushed deeper and Finn’s eyes went half-lidded, lips parting on a sound that was not quite a word.
“More.”
