Purpose has replaced anger. Where rage once sat in my chest, there’s now direction, something steady enough to slow my breath and anchor my hands. Meeting Alana didn’t just change me; it rerouted the entire fight. It showed me the truth I was never able to see.
I never fought before—not because I was weak, not because I was afraid—but because I never cared enough to. Nothing ever reached deep enough to wake the violence in my blood or demand more from me than survival. I moved through life day in, day out. Untouched, unmoved, keeping everything at arm’s length because it costnothingto lose what I never wanted.
But her…
She rewired something fundamental. My mind, my blood, the very air in my lungs burns for her in a way it never has for another soul. Loving her is both a wound and a cure, a slow ache and a violent relief. It wrecks me and puts me back together in the same breath. It consumes me until there’s nothing left that isn’t hers.
She says she’s going down, and I might believe her. But I won’t let go.
I’ll chain myself to her and drown beside her if that’s what it takes.
I want her. More than that, Ineedher. All of her. In every way possible. Complicated. Broken. Messy. I want all of it. Forever. And I’m damn sure asfuckgoing to prove it.
By the end of my second leg, my hair is dripping with sweat, and my veins pop on my arms from the exertion. I drop them down, letting them fall beside me, exhausted. When my phone rings, I can barely hold it up.
“Hello?”
“Hey, man, it's Brian.”
“Brian?” I pull the phone away from my ear, noting a 206 area code labeled Seattle. “What number is this?”
“I’m at the office. Listen, I just heard from my girl, Celise, in HR. Turns out Stanley’s letter of rec bumped you to the top of the list. They’re looking at calling you up next week for an in-person interview. And I’m telling you, dude, if they like you,you’re in. They’ll want you to start immediately. Like on the spot.”
My heart is still drumming in my chest from my workout, but I don’t miss the sinking feeling that hits my stomach as he continues. “I wanted to give you the heads up, so you can make travel plans or whatever.”
He rattles off a few more pieces of information, but it all jumbles together. My head starts to spin trying to place all the details at once.
“Wait, how’d they get that letter? Stanley just gave it to me yesterday.” Before I left class, Professor Stanley stopped and handed me an envelope. He said something about being impressed with my work and referred to me as a revenant, but my head was already out the door, chasing Alana down the street, so I barely heard him. I haven’t read the letter yet, nor have I made a decision on whether I should send it out or not. In fact, I’ve all but forgotten about it until this very moment.
“Yeah, that was the original, but he sent a copy here like a week ago. I gave him my email the weekend I was down there. I told you, man. I put in a good word for you.”
I know I should be grateful. I’m sure there’s a version of me, buried somewhere deep, that probably is. Brian’s been nothing but a good friend. He held me together when I was a drunken mess, helped me find a place when I needed an out. He didn’t call me a fucking loser like I deserved when I walked away from the internship that was supposed to launch my career.
And now he’s making sure I still get a shot. A real one.
It’s a good opportunity. And it’s probably my last chance.
But there’s only one thing on my mind right now, one thing that outweighs everything else.
Alana.
“Jake, you good, man?”
I realize I’ve been quieter than I should be, considering the news he just shared. “Yeah, yeah. I’m just…surprised.”
“Yeah, me, too. They work quickly here, but I don’t know, notthisfast. They must have really liked what they saw on paper with you.”
“Yeah…” I drag my palm down my mouth, completely lost for words. “Hey, I’m at the gym right now, so let me call you back.”
“All good, dude. Just let me know what happens.”
“Definitely,” I say before I hang up. “And thank you,” I add quickly.
“You’re my brother, man. No need to thank me.”
A hint of a smile pulls at my lips briefly, my heart warmed by the sentiment.
You too, Bri. You fucking, too.
