I keep my eyes forward as she raises her hand, only to be met with a slight lift of Stanley’s brow in response.
“Sorry, it’s just…” She taps a finger on her laptop. “I’m on the class page, but… I don’t see my name listed with someone else’s.”
He holds out his hand, inviting her to bring her laptop to his desk. She gathers her bag, laptop in hand and makes her way up front.
The second she walks down the aisle, I start packing my bag.
My eyes shift up on their own accord, looking for her. Her hair is in that same messy ponytail, but today she’s wearing navy leggings and a tight zip-up to match. She looks like she’s about to head to the gym, except there’s a white bow trailing her ponytail like before. Her sleeves nearly engulf her small hand as she explains her position animatedly, her hands flailing about as if they can get her point across more clearly.
“So my advisor was changed just before the semester began, and it turns out I was registered for the wrong course, which is why I registered late for your class. But my new advisor said it wouldn’t be a problem.”
Stanley continues to review her student access page before his eyes meet hers again. “Well, Miss…?”
“Dimerez.”
“Yes. Miss Dimerez. Unfortunately, everyone in class has been assigned a partner, and there is no room for a group of three. You are welcome to complete the project on your own. It’s double the work for the same grade, but other students have made that choice for themselves.”
His eyes land on me as I rise from my chair. She turns her head, her lips parting slightly as her gaze follows his and finds me. When our eyes meet, a sudden jolt in my chest cements my feet to the floor. Remnants of guilt from our previous interaction surface, and I want to run before my mouth says something the rest of me doesn’t want it to. But I can’t move.
Her gaze falls to the floor before meeting with Stanley’s again, and I’m unlocked, finally able to move again.
“Thank you, sir. I’m sure I’ll manage.”
He gives her a curt nod before she places her laptop in her bag and makes for the door.
I don’t know what it is—maybe it’s the shitty feeling that’s sat with me for two days over being such a dick to her, or maybe it’s the way her frosted ocean eyes have flashed in my head repeatedly since I’ve seen them, sad and discouraged at my doing—but it’s pushing me to go after her.
That would be stupid, the voice in my head warns, but my feet are already moving, trailing her steps on the campus sidewalk.
“Hey!” I call out, but her head stays forward, her stride a perfect rhythm. I jog up beside her as she places an earbud in one ear.
“Hey,” I repeat, louder this time. She jumps back, brows furrowed and her shoulders hiked. “Sorry.” I almost laugh, slowing my steps to match hers.
Don’t do it, the voice warns again, but my tongue is moving with its own instruction, desperate for a chance to redeem itself.
“I heard what you said to Stanley,” I tell her.My stomach churns nervously. “I can help you with the project if you need it.”
She mocks a laugh, giving me a side-eye. She seems entirely put off by me, and while my head screams,yeah, jackass, that was the point,something in my gut—in my chest—makes me want to try harder.
“No, really,” I insist.
“And how’s that?” Her tone is flat. Uninterested. Her eyes stay trained ahead, and she tries to pick up speed, but my legs are longer than hers, so I keep up effortlessly.
Don’t do it, you idiot. You don’t need—
“I’ll be your partner,” I blurt, silencing the voice before it wins the war in my mind. My heart jumps in my chest, and my ears burn. It’s a strange reaction, but I don’t have time to place it.
She gives me a once-over and squishes her nose. “Yeahhh, no thanks.”
“Hey! That’s a really good offer.”
“I’m sure it is,” she deadpans. “You seem like a realgem, Coop.”
I roll my eyes. “It’s Jake.”
“It’srude, and I’m not interested.”
I stop midstep, a tug pulling the corner of my mouth up into a crooked smile. I have no idea why I want this girl’s attention right now, why I so desperately want her to look me in my eyes, but that flicker I felt the other day hasn’t left me. That tiny bolt of excitement buried itself under everything I’ve been trying to outrun—the grief, the guilt—and I want more of it, even though the voice in my head tells me I don’t. It warnsme that following this path can only lead to destruction and heartbreak, but Iwantto keep pressing forward. I almost need to.
