That does it. My grin turns devious. I hold the wheel with one hand and my headrest with the other as I hike myself up onto one knee and lean over her, shaking the water from my hair like a madman while she squeals beneath me.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Is this bothering you? Did you only want rainoutsidethe car? Do you only like freezing falling watersometimes?”
I laugh as she giggles and squirms falling onto her back beneath me, her hands warm on my chest as I continue to lean over her. I move one hand to the dash and scoop one arm under her waist drawing her closer to me, my legs cradling hers.
Our laughs subside and we both freeze, startled by the sudden closeness. The surge in the air is electrifying. My eyesbounce between hers, my chest rising and falling with shallow breaths against her. Her eyes fall to my lips, and my jaw sets tight. I swallow hard, my skin buzzing with the need to kiss her again. To kiss herfor real.
But I let her go instead.
I sit back in my seat and reach for my shirt as she repositions herself. She slips my hoodie back over her clothes and smiles.
“We needed that so much,” she sighs, and I laugh, deep and throaty. “What? Why are you laughing?”
I slip my shirt over my head and pull it down, my eyes finding hers. “You’re a crazy person, you know that?”
She doesn’t answer for a moment. Her smirk mirrors my grin.
“You love it,” she says finally, weaving her hair into a braid.
I bite my cheek to keep from telling her that I do. That I love her crazy games and the way she forces me outside of my comfort zone. That I love the way she makes the world feel bigger, louder, more alive just by standing in it.
I stay quiet as I put the truck in reverse and pull onto the dirt road. We’re silent as I follow the street I know by memory.
The night sky fades before us, a new day being birthed at the center of the horizon. I reach for my phone, opening my Spotify and hitting play on the song I know she’ll like most.
When Nat King Cole’s “But Beautiful” fills the space, I glance over and watch as the corners of her mouth lift. And I listen this time. The way she taught me to.
Love is funny, or it’s sad. Or it’s quiet, or it’s mad. It’s a good thing, or it’s bad. But beautiful. Beautiful to take a chance, and if you fall, you fall… And I’m thinking, I wouldn’t mind at all. I’m thinking, if you were mine, I’d never let you go, and that would be but beautiful, Iknow…
An hour later, we’re parked outside her apartment. A sense of dread fills my gut when we get to her building, digging deeper with each step. We climb the steps to her third-floor apartment. I don’t want to leave her. Not because I want more of whatever it was that just happened on the mountain, but because I have this aching need to be near her. I know she doesn’t need me to walk her all the way up, but she doesn’t stop me from doing so, and I’m thankful for it.
“So I’ll see you tomorrow?” I say, beginning my exit when we get to her door. My hands are stuffed deep in my pockets to keep me from pulling her into my chest and holding her until it’s even a fraction of enough.
“Sure,” she replies with a ghost of a smile.
She faces the door and unlocks it but then hesitates before turning the knob. My stomach does a somersault in its hopeful waiting.
“Jake?” She turns her head to me, eyes tired and full of innocence. “Could you stay?”
Yes, I want to scream from the top of my lungs.Yes, I can stay. Forever, I can stay.But the words get caught in my throat, a tiny ember of fear trying to catch. I smother it away, burying it with my want to be with her that’s greater than my fear of what I know comes next.
“Just for a little. I mean…” She shakes her head, looking unsure of herself. “Never mind. It’s late. Or early—”
“Yes,” I finally breathe out.
Her shoulders slack in relief, the fall of her brows mirroring the same solace.
“Yeah,” I repeat. “I can stay.” She smiles, and I want so much more of it. “But you’re not gonna make me watchA Walk to Rememberor something, are you?”
She laughs. “I was thinkingTitanic. See those real man tears I know you shed for Jack,” she teases as she opens the door to let us in.
“He died in the water to keep her alive!”
She shakes her head. “You’re such a lover boy, and you don’t even know it,” she says with a breezy tone. The way it lights me up has me bringing my hand to rub where it lands—the center of my chest. I smile in response, my stomach clenching in a new way.
We settle onto the couch, a comfortable distance between us, but when she pulls her knees up, the space all but evaporates. The edge of her knee brushes against the side of my jeans, and azingshoots down my leg. Even with exhaustion nipping at me, her presence is like a wave of energy permeating off of her.
My arm extends out along the back of the couch as I slump farther into the corner of it. She props an elbow on the top cushion, aiding her head in remaining upright. A few seconds later, her eyes flutter closed. Her breathing and body relaxes in place. She’s asleep. Peacefully.Beautifully.
