I want to sink into myself and forget this entire conversation ever happened.
“It’s really impressive you’re finishing school so quickly. I’m sure that wasn’t easy,” he adds. “I’m happy I can help.”
“Really?” I ask, truly appreciating hownotoffended he is right now.
“Sure.” He smiles, and relief comes over me, warming my chest.
I know I barely know this man, and what I’ve recently seen of him has been broody and intense, but if I could pick one word to describe the light in his eyes right now, the only one that would do it justice would bewholesome. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I think if he weren’t carrying that weight around with him, that’s exactly what he’d be all the time.
The corner of my mouth lifts at the thought. I finally grab my coffee and take a sip. My tastebuds shriek in delight, surprised by the flavor. “Cinnamon vanilla latte?”
“Mm-hmm,” he hums. His satisfied grin meets my questioning gaze. “Smelled the obnoxiousness of it from across the aisle for four whole weeks. You seemed very sugar and spice, anyway.” He winks. “Figured I had half a shot.”
And once again, I’m left speechless.
I want to be bothered by the odd fluttering spell my belly has been put under. I want to be annoyed that he got my drink nearly perfect on his very first try. Okay, fine—he got itspot on, but that’s not the point.
The point is I want to be bothered bysomethingright now, anything that will put me off by him, but instead, all I feel is an overwhelming excitement I know I shouldn’t give in to.
If there’s one thing I can’t afford, it’s distractions, and this exchange of ours has all the signs of being just that.
If not, worse.
Track 5
“HowHigh the Moon” Nat King Cole, 1951
ALANA
“SO WHERE ARE we going again?” I ask Rosalia for the hundredth time. Forcing myself to go out while having zero desiremightbe causing me to mentally disassociate.
It’s been a long time since I’ve gone out with friends—not that I have many to begin with. Lia is really the only person I’ve met and made time for. Although, I’m not so sure if it’s that I’ve made time for her or that she simply wouldn’t allow menotto, but I love her too much to question it.
She’s the loud crack in the quiet calm I’ve tried to maintain. Even now as we walk down Austin’s lively city street, she’s the main character. It’s almost as if the world knows it. She’s so unapologetic, flaunting her big curls and loud voice as boldly as the rest of her personality. She doesn’t care who hears or who’s watching. She’s always justLia.
We met spring semester of my freshman, her sophomore year, right after Macey Bitchwell ‘accidentally’ spilled her coffee all over the syllabus she was supposed to hand me.
I’m not necessarily unfamiliar with bullying. Growing up in a neighborhood like I did with a bunch of unparented kids, you came across a jerk or two, and you learned how to hold your own quickly.
A sharp tongue and a witty comeback did well to send the biggest barkers running. But things had changed that last year of high school, and it left me shaken in a way I still hadn’t recovered from.
I held my own back home, but here, I was a small fish in a big pond, and at eighteen and completely out of my element without the support I was used to, my old reflexes didn’t come as quickly anymore.
I’m not saying Macey randomly targeted me. I was keen to her dislike for me ever since our performing arts professor shockingly claimed I had potential‘everyone else should take notes on,’ and didn’t award her in the least. It was basically a not-so-subtle way of saying,you all suck. Compliments aren’t something I’m used to, and I definitely could have done without that one.
Lia had watched the whole coffee spill unfold.
Without hesitating, she’d slid her seat a little closer so I could look off her paper. When Macey muttered something about certain people always being a charity case, Lia fired back with, “Better than being the mega-bitch of high school. Or wait, isn’t this college?” She scoffed. “My bad.Your shitty body spray and mean-girl attitude had me thinking I time traveled.”
Macey rolled her eyes, Lia snarled, and I bit my lip to keep from laughing.
It’s nearly three years later, and Lia is still here, interjecting herself into my life and taking over where she can. And I wouldn’t change it for a thing.
“Alana, I’m telling you right now, if you ask me that one more time, I’m taking you to the ER and telling them you have a concussion.” I laugh. Lia rolls her eyes and smiles while linking her arm through mine. “We’re going to The Big D.”
Naturally, I have no idea where she’s talking about. I’ve never heard of The Big D or any place that even begins with—Wait…
“Donn’s?” I ask in disbelief. “We’re going to Donn’s?”
