“Like—” I do the math. My brain, helpfully, has the full index available. I make the conscious choice to not drop the exact numbers. “A lot. Bro, it’s a regular thing.”
“Regular thing?”
“Walker uses it almost every morning,” I say.
Every head snaps to Walker.
Walker, to his credit, doesn’t look even slightly embarrassed.
“I like draining my balls in the morning,” he says, like it’s the most normal shit in the world. “He’s warm and tight when he’s asleep. It’s a good way to start the day before I hit the gym.”
Oh, yeah.That.
Walker can sound like a total dick saying it, but one of my favorite things right now is waking up to that fat piece of meat already buried inside me.
“You’ve been using the doll almosteverymorning,” Grant says slowly, looking ready to swing, “and you didn’t think to mention that to the rest of the house?”
“Nobody asked.”
Miles stares at Walker with an expression of deep personal betrayal.
“You’ve been using the doll and you left me out?” He looks at me. “You’ve been letting them use you and you left me out?”
“Bro, you’re always busy,” I say. It is true.
“I’m notthatbusy!”
“You literally didn’t come home for four days last week.”
“I was on a deadline. That doesn’t—”
“Dude.” Grant’s voice cuts him off. “I need everybody to shut the fuck up and explain this to me. Because I’ve used the doll twice.Two times.And apparently Walker’s been over here—”
“Almost every morning,” Finn supplies helpfully.
“—almosteverymorning,” Grant repeats, glaring at Walker. “Every morning.”
“Not every morning,” Walker says. “Sometimes Kit’s already awake.”
“Oh, my bad, totally different then,” Finn says, spitting sarcasm.
Walker throws a pillow at him.
“Okay, but—” Finn catches it, still going. “I want to be clear that I also didn’t know this was a community project. I thought the doll was, like, available, but I didn’t know there was a wholeschedule.”
“There’s no fucking schedule, dude,” I snap, glaring at him.
“Bro, there’s basically a schedule.”
“It’s not a schedule, it’s just—” I try to find the word. “It just happened.”
“It just happened?” Grant repeats. “Walker just happens to be fucking you every morning—”
“Can you not say ‘fucking’?” I ask, shifting my glare to him. “Say ‘using the doll’.It’s less weird. More of a… no-homo thing.”
Grant opens his mouth, then closes it. “Fine. Walker just happens to be using the doll every morning before gym. Finn just happens to be using the doll regularly too. I just happen to have used the doll in my truck in a Kroger parking lot—”
“Wait,” Finn says.
