My God, people…if you ever decide to pull some shady ass shit on your other half, make sure it’s verbal so it ends up being ahe said she saidscenario. Because what Laura doesn’t know is that I just screenshotted her conversation with me, and I’m already going on Facebook to find this random dude she’s been with.
I find him within seconds of typing in Laura’s name. A Paul Burgos.
Poor Paul.
I screenshot his Facebook profile and send it over to Laura, then shoot a text message over to test my theory.
MICAH: Did you want to tell him now, or did you want me to?
LAURA: Micah, don’t. Let’s talk first.
MICAH: Nah, you love me. What’s to talk about? You don’t need him. You don’t want to drag someone along while you long for someone else.
LAURA: I will. But I just want to know we’re going to work.
MICAH: And if we don’t? You gonna go run back to Paul?
LAURA: You’re being unreasonable.
MICAH: I don’t think I am. Message him right now and tell him.
LAURA: I can’t. I’d rather do it in person.
MICAH: Like you did with me?
Laura is so damn weak, it’s pathetic.
She doesn’t love anyone but herself. She doesn’t love me, and I’m scared to think of what she’s going to gain with Heath.
Or what she thinks she will.
I exit out of her text messaging thread. Sienna’s is right underneath hers, and I wish to God I could reach out, but I’ve already done enough.
I don’t want to be a Laura in her story.
I don’t wish to be someone to push and pull her back into the whirlwind of my bullshit.
I only desire the absolute best for the woman who temporarily pulled me out of the black depths of loneliness and showed me that I could care for someone else again.
And I fucked that up.
And I continue to fuck that up.
Because, for the next several months to a year…I do become someone who refuses to let her go and find any happiness outside of me.
17
SIENNA
Three months later…
“Seriously,Sienna, I know you can throw harder than that.”
With gloved hands, I focus on the tin cans in front of me, all stacked in a strategic triangle with some resentment.
I’m freezing.
The chilling night air, mixed with random gusts of disrespectful wind, only makes it worse.
