“I guess that leaves us before we met,” I mutter, shoving my hands into my jeans pockets because my old ways are starting to rear their ugly head in my brain.
Back in the day, before my kid, I would’ve physically made it impossible to turn me down. I would’ve had her already against me and asked her to repeat those words.
I was a bastard, plain and simple, who didn’t play fair.
I knew what I had to offer, bordering on a cocky son of a bitch who was God’s gift to women in the bedroom because I was a giver, I lasted, and I could go two rounds with ample recovering time.
Sienna frowns. “I wish it wasn’t.”
“Well…” I blow out a long exhale from my lips. “This sucks.”
“It does. I wish…it were different.”
“Mhm…” I give her my best grin, trying not to look so brokenhearted about it becausethatwould be crazy. However, this is probably for the best. I’m not sure if I’m ready to bring a woman into Heath’s life, even though Laura has been gone for almost all of it. And I definitely would wish to develop something serious before taking that step. “You take care of yourself, Sienna. I’ll send some cupcakes to that bake sale you mentioned the other day.”
Her golden irises search my face for something. “You’re not going to come?”
I can’t help but notice the disappointment in her tone, but I forge on.
“I think it’s for the best that I don’t.” Her lips part as if she’s about to say something, but no words come out, so I do her a solid and finish the rest of this conversation for her. “Maybe one of those fun runs or something more manly. I can do shit like that.”
“We’ll have one in the spring.”
“Perfect.” I take a step backward, feeling the bungee cord of attraction between us start to strain. “Have a good night, BCR.”
“BCR…” Her eyes widen as if remembering that acronym of a nickname I made for her that night we met. “What does that mean?”
“I think it’s highly inappropriate?—”
“We’ve already fucked,” she argues matter-of-factly, clearly wanting to answer over worrying about how the obvious sounds. “I think we’re passed that.”
I’m certainly not.
Nonetheless, she has a right to know, I guess.
“Best Cock Rider,” I convey, pushing my cheek out with my tongue. “It fit. And Sienna felt so basic to put in my phone, and I definitely wanted to remember the girl who blew my mind that night.”
A few beats go by before she asks, “You always givin’ girls nicknames who…?”
I slowly begin to rock my head back and forth. “I haven’t been with someone in a while.”
“Why?”
“Time. And I have Heath to worry about.”
Her head slowly tilts to the side, her long chestnut hair falling down her slender shoulder as if contemplating a truth or a lie. “Why me?”
“Why not you?”
“Don’t evade my question.”
“Don’t make me answer.”
Her eyes slit. “How come?”
“Why mention it when you’ve already shut the door in my face?”
“Ishut the door in your face?”
