At some point, she leans her head back and closes her eyes. I don’t know where I stand. I have no idea what comes next.
One thing is clear, I can’t go back to a version of my life where she isn’t in it. However she’ll have me.
I let out a slow breath and lean back into the couch, keeping the space between us instead of testing it. Her hand shifts slightly, resting closer to mine than it was a minute ago. Not touching. Definitely close enough I could close the gap if I moved a hair.
I don’t. I stay where I am and let the moment hold without trying to shape it into something else. I’m terrified to break whatever balance we’ve found.
I pray, on the other side of this struggle, Hope and I will have a stronger, deeper bond.
In the meantime, I’ll take my dad’s advice.
Give her time.
fourteen
Three Weeks Later
IlookaroundAlek’sapartment in awe.
No less astonished now at how my life has unfolded than I was the moment I realized he lied about us being married. The reality is, none of my stuff is confined to boxes. Everything I own is interspersed with Alek’s things.
His apartment is our shared space.
Despite the crunchiness of the past few weeks after I began to reclaim my independence, things have settled down.
At least for me.
It took me a little while to process all of my life changes, but I see things clearly now.
The hosting gig at Gus has been a Godsend. It’s given me some autonomy, allowing me to be myself again.
Alek’s been nothing but supportive. He’s given me the space to find my footing. Our relationship has stalled because of the distance I inadvertently created in my quest for independence.
The truth is, life with him has blossomed into a vibrant and unexpected journey. There’s no question I want a future filled with shared dreams and the simple joy of waking up beside each other every morning.
I’m ready to bridge the gap once and for all and show Alek how I feel about him.
Earlier on our weekly phone call, Lissa sensed my determination and suggested a grand gesture. “Now, I haven’t met him but he seems like a unicorn. Why not surprise him with dinner? He’s taken care of you for months, turn the tables a bit.”
The spark of an idea turned into a whole thing. I’m all in. Alek returned to the office this week and should be home soon. My mom’s famous recipe for roast chicken is in the oven and the dining room table is set. I’m excited to express my gratitude for his unwavering support and finally tell him how I feel.
I’m in the midst of preparing the mashed potatoes when I hear the door open. Alek steps in and the surprise I planned for him is nearly forgotten when I see he’s not empty-handed.
I’d recognize the worn, old case anywhere. My hands fly to my mouth when I realize he’s carrying my beloved guitar.
“I found it.” Alek’s voice is tinged with excitement and something deeper. More meaningful. “I’ve spent the past few months tracking it down and found it at a pawn shop in Tacoma. I know you miss your music and were planning on buying a new one, but I thought…”
Tears prick my eyes as I take in the sight of my long-lost companion. This guitar is more than an instrument. It’s a piece of my soul. The last remaining link to my mother.
Alek, in his quiet, thoughtful way, has managed to return the one piece of myself I feared was lost forever.
I melt into his arms. “I know I didn’t say it before but I love you. I really,reallylove you. You have no idea how much this means to me.”
Hiding his surprise, Alek’s warm, genuine smile is like a cozy blanket. “I love you too. No matter what, I want you to be happy. To see you whole again, with or without me.”
“With you.” The sentiment behind his words, the selflessness, only deepens my feelings for him. I press a kiss to his sweet lips. “Alwayswith you.”
Dinner can wait; it’s the last thing on my mind. The space between us dissolves into a dance of happy tears, laughter, and soft touches. We’re whispering love and forever, our lips urgent and hungry. Our bodies press together, fitting perfectly.
