The standard lamp in the corner had been a present from Danny’s parents. The canary yellow curtains they’d brought with them from their previous house had surprisingly fitted the large bay window at the front of the room, which itself threw sunlight across the room in the late afternoon.
She gazed at the collection of photos on the back wall. Each one was of Emily on her birthdays. Juliette saw the smiles of delight on her daughter’s face on the fourth one. The look of glee as she was ready to blow out the candles on her caterpillar cake. She was such a beautiful child. Never in her wildest dreams did Juliette think she wouldn’t get to see her fifth year out. Before she started to feel too low, she decided to see if Danny was around for a chat.
After catching up with him on the phone, she was watching a rerun ofMidsomer Murderswhen she heard a sound that made her jump. It was as if something, or someone had banged on a window. She froze, listening for it to happen again. When it didn’t, she sighed withrelief. Perhaps it was next door, nothing to worry about.
When she heard it again, she sat up sharply. It was the one thing she disliked about living alone. An overactive imagination with every bang, creak or shout. When Danny had first gone back to London, it had taken her an age to get used to the sighs of the house as it settled each night. The noise from the traffic on the road was distant now, but back in the city it seemed to invade her mind and come into her bedroom. Her senses had been on high alert and she’d often walked around during the night as she’d been unable to settle.
Hoping it was the neighbourhood cat who’d come to see if she’d left out any scraps, she got to her feet. Holding her head high to feel more confident, she went through to the kitchen, the source of the sound. She left off the light, seeing straight out into the dark. The security light at the bottom of the garden had been set off. She peered out but could see nothing. Perhaps it was the cat after all.
But as she turned away, she caught a shadow.Wassomeone out there? She covered her mouth, afraid to scream out. Even though she knew she shouldn’t scare herself, she stared out of the window again. Almost willing a shadow to move, or a figure to re-emerge. But nothing happened.
Hadshe seen someone?
If she had, whoever it might have been would be well gone now, she assumed, probably breaking intosomeone else’s property, whereas she would most likely be awake all night, listening to the same familiar noises over and over, waiting for a sign that something more sinister was going on.
She wanted to ring Danny again but knew it would worry him. What if she’d just seen a shadow? So she went to bed, closing the curtains with a quick look outside to see that all was well.
In the morning, as she went downstairs, she spotted an envelope on the mat in the hallway. She picked it up to see it was addressed to no one. Inside was a typed note:
Be careful who you trust.
Juliette frowned. What was that all about? Her blood went cold as she searched out her phone and headed into the kitchen. On the side of the fridge was a magnet that she’d picked up with details of the local police number.
As she waited to be connected, she wondered if she was being silly bothering them, but equally if it made her feel better, it was the right thing to do, even if it did turn out to be her imagination playing tricks on her again. Better to be safe than sorry.
Someone had delivered that note.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
2016
I was only at the coffee shop for four months before I started being ill. After three mornings in a row of nausea upon waking, I wondered if I could be pregnant. I decided not to say anything to Richard until I found out for myself.
I went into Leek, our nearest town, to buy a test. I didn’t want to buy one from the local chemist in Mapleton as the gossip drums would start to bang. That was the trouble with living and working in a village. People knew each other’s business. I wanted to be the first person to tell Richard if it was positive. I didn’t even want anyone to hint at it to him. So it was better to be certain first before rumours were spread willy-nilly.
In the car on the drive back, I dreamed of how it would be if I was pregnant. Me, a mum! Honestly, I couldn’t keep the smile from my face. It was excellenttiming. I was young and healthy. Richard and I had spent a few months together since we were married, getting to know each other, and I was sure this would make us closer somehow. Richard was a fuddy-duddy, set in his ways. Perhaps a child would mellow him.
We’d spoken about children once he’d proposed to me. Of course, he’d said he wanted them but had wondered if he’d left it too late. When I complimented him on his young outlook, he seemed satisfied. He said we should start trying straight away as he dragged me off to bed.
Waiting for the minute to see the outcome of the test was excruciating. For some reason, my thoughts turned to my sister. I still struggled to understand why she wouldn’t engage with me after I’d left Derby. It was a shame, I missed her, but since I’d lost my phone, I couldn’t remember her number to try any more. I certainly wasn’t going to turn up unannounced at home. She had my details and she knew where I was if she needed me. Maybe she was grown up enough now to look after herself.
The test was positive. I raced downstairs to tell Richard.
‘I’m pregnant,’ I shouted and rushed into his arms. But his body was stiff and although his arms went around me, I could tell he wasn’t happy. I looked up at him, his shoulders dropping along with his face.
I was hurt by his reaction. ‘I thought you wanted to start a family as soon as possible.’
‘You’re right.’ He nodded as if trying to convince himself. ‘I did say that. It’s just a shock, that’s all.’
‘You’re not pleased?’
‘Of course I am.’ He gave me a hug. ‘It was unexpected. I’m delighted.’
It was from that moment, although I didn’t know it then, that things started to change. Being pregnant was the best and the worst thing that happened to me. I began to fall more under his control, becoming ever dependent on him. Of course, he did it under the guise of caring for me. Making me feel loved as he did things for me. Later he would say I was useless at everything, playing on my emotions.
Richard wanted a son, so when Daisy came along he began to lose interest. To me, Daisy was perfect, beautiful, and I was so happy. But Richard barely looked her way at first. He wouldn’t pick her up unless he was showing her off to someone, or pretending he was a doting father when a midwife or nurse called to see us. But gradually Daisy won him over and, after a few weeks, she had him wrapped around her little finger. He was besotted with her.
And then he insisted we try for another baby straight away. I kept telling him I wasn’t ready. I wanted to give my body time to recover, and also to be with Daisy as I learned how to be a mother to her.
