“No need to apologize. I completely understand. How do you feel about being the big man in the office now though? Can you handle it? I mean, I’m sure you can, but we both know you have your own demons.”
I chuckled humorlessly as I rotated my neck, cracking it in the process. People just didn’t know that I had been handling shit for the last couple of months. This was nothing new.
“It’s just more paperwork, manageable. I’m even hiring a couple more people to help carry the load. And sis, you don’t need to be worried about my demons. I tucked them deep in the closet. You just take care of my other nephew in there,” I joked as she kissed her teeth but rubbed her belly at the same time.
“Tucked away but I still can’t give you a hug. Yeah okay,” Liv said just as Lando came walking into the kitchen.
“And you better not, that fool cool. But I could use one.” I laughed because he was stupid, but also right. I was fine and still not ready to let my monsters out to play.
I got up just as Liv wrapped her arms around Lando. It was weird how my mind went to Johnni and how she felt in mine. Each time was brief, but long enough to know that I wanted her back in them.
As I made my way to the living room where the noise grew louder, I pulled out my phone to text Lourdè.
Me: I’ll be back later tonight. Text me your room number.
Lou: 1201. Don’t knock, just text me. My mother-in-law is my coach and next door. We’re going to have to be quiet.
I chuckled as it all began to make sense with her mother-in-law calling her.
ELEVEN
Johnni
“Ladies and gentlemen, please help me welcome this year’s beautiful ladies in the Mrs. Crescent Falls pageant.” The instrumental kicked on as we got our cue to begin making our way to the stage. It was the official opening day and I was ready to do this.
I was second in line and blew a few raspberries with my red painted lips before I had to follow the girl leading the pack. I put on my smile as I glided across the stage, waving with one hand while the other rested on my hip.
Not only was this our introduction round, but our casual wear round too. Every year, we came out in custom made T-shirts with the pageant’s logo on the front and our names on the back with the taglineFuture Mrs. Crescent Fallsabove it. This helped the judges and crowd know who each of us were since we didn’t have sashes for this portion.
I stepped in my spot, getting in position, pointing my left foot out a little bit with my right turned at an angle. I looked out toward the audience, scanning the crowd for Mama Steph who I knew would be easy to find. She smiled and nodded herapproval. I then began to do something I never did. I looked forhim.
I went from not even wanting him here to wanting to put on a good show for Courtland. It stemmed from him saying I was on official queen business. I was too easy because that one statement had my pussy dripping.
So now I was on a mission to perform for him.
“Don’t they look amazing? How about another round of applause for our contestants!” After my failed attempt to locate him, I put my gaze back on who mattered most right now, the judges. I knew he was here because Oakley Charles was amongst the judges, with a smile just as wide as us on the stage.
Johnni, focus!
We got our cue to round the stage, so we exited to the left. Just as we began to swoop around centerstage, I felt his eyes on me from the opposite direction of where I’d assumed he would be.
A swarm of butterflies filled the pit of my stomach and had me smiling hard as hell. Courtland didn’t smile, but the stare down he gave me had a fire blazing from my tippy toes and had me adding an unrehearsed twirl in my walk.
Now, you showing off, Johnni.
And was, every inch of me. It didn’t hurt that I heard an extra cheer from the crowd. I knew Mama Steph would chew me out for it later, but in this moment, for him to see all of me, it was worth it.
I’d barely left the stage before I was yanked down from the clouds.
“Johnni, what the hell was that?” Mama Steph’s voice was low but I felt the anger in her heavy tone. My mind had been so caught up that I couldn’t put the math together of how she’d gotten back here so fast.
“Nothing. I felt it in my spirit to add it in. It was just a little razzle dazzle. The crowd loved it.” I shrugged as I walked to my station where Billie was waiting for me. We had to move fast and get my face set for the talent section next. Since I was second in line, I still had to change my clothes. I thought with company Mama Steph wouldn’t go so hard, seeing how she’d never been too hard on me, but nope, she kept going.
“It was reckless and childish. What’s the point of practicing if you’re going to feel things in your spirit, huh? The only razzle dazzle you need is your smile, personality, and the routines we practice. No more spontaneous stunts like that or I’ll pull you out. We have a lot riding on this year. I want to retire knowing that I got my daughter to the fucking top! Stick to the script, Johnni.” I caught a couple of other contestants and coaches’ eyes and knew we had their ears as well. When the low whispers started, I snickered again. Mama Steph was playing with me right now. For one, she wasn’t retiring and she and I didn’t act like this at competitions, ever.
“C’mon on, Mama. It was fun and playful. Don’t you always preach about being myself in my routine. That was me.” I paused as I began pulling my hair up in a ponytail while Billie got to work. It was a natural beat, so she had to tone down my face.
“Yes, have fun and be yourself with what the hell we worked on.” I chuckled, which had her spinning me around, completely catching both me and Billie off guard.
