“The worst part about all of this is that I allowed myself to hope that things would turn out well in the end. I was nae so sure when ye first approached me and I became even less sure as I started to take on these responsibilities. And when ye mentioned marriage to me, I was convinced that I had signed myself up for a lifetime of suffering. But I told myself I would do it for the betterment of this clan, for my people. I told myself that if I could take on some of their suffering, if a bride was what I needed to be able to do that, then I would do it happily. But then I met Charlotte and any ideas I might have had about what being married would be like flew out the window.”
“I ken that ye care for the lass,” Alastair told him sympathetically.
“It is more than that, Alastair. She gave me the hope that my claim would be legitimizedandthat I would have a partner to build this life, this clan with. It made me hope that things would truly work out in the end. She made me think that—” he stopped pacing and turned to face Alastiar head on. “She made me think that one day, I would be able to undo all of the damage my father had done. That I would finally be able to avenge my people, my clan, my mother, my siblings.”
His voice cracked on the last word.
“But I have failed them all. I did nae pay enough attention to anything that was happening. I did nae do the things I was hoping to do. And there is nay one to blame but myself. I will die tomorrow with the knowledge that there will be nay one left to avenge all that my family lost.”
The weight of it all came crashing down on Cameron’s shoulders hard enough that he felt his knees about to buckle. It was all too much. Giving up any image of strength, Cameron sank into the sofa beside Alastair. The man was as close to a father as Cameron had ever had or was ever going to get and in that moment, what he needed was a father’s love.
“Cameron, the only one who failed was yer father. He is the cause for all of this pain and suffering. He is the one to blame for all of this. Though, perhaps I share some of that blame.”
The two men met eyes, both filled with grief and regret.
“I should have spoken up more. I should have pushed back on all of the horrible things he wanted to do. If I had kent then what I ken now, I would like to think that I would have. But there is little point in trying to undo the past. All we can do is face the future, head on.”
Cameron sighed through his nose, his emotions running too high to be able to hear the wisdom in Alastair’s words.
“Ye have been through so much,” Alastair went on, his voice gravely and tight with emotion. “Ye have lost so much. It is unfair that ye dinnae get to see that there is more to life than turmoil. I always wanted better for ye. And yer siblings. None of ye deserved to be handed such fates.”
It was then that the grip Cameron had on his tears broke. He cried for his mother and his younger siblings. He cried for all of the people his father had hurt, for the families who still mourned. He cried for the future with Charlotte he would never get to have. He cried for the future his clan would never get to have.
He made no effort to control his sobs and Alastair said nothing to try to stop him. Instead, the old man slung an arm around Cameron’s shoulders and shed a few tears of his own.
They both knew, through their tears and sorrows that this war was bigger than both of them. It was a whole slew of people who had been wronged by the former Laird Knox coming to exact their revenge. And they both knew, as much as they wanted to, there was no stopping what the dawn would bring.
