“I cannae see ye. I am frightened. Please, help me.”
His voice cracked under the weight of his emotions.
“There is nae need to be frightened. We can always find our courage. Count to five and then ye will feel brave again.”
It was the same advice she had given Cameron since he was old enough to understand monsters. And for as long as he could remember, it worked. He would squeeze his eyes closed, count to five, and all of his fear would vanish.
Doing just that, he shut out the burning hut and the hazy smoke and the fear that threatened to suffocate him. Then he began counting.
“One. Two.”
“Good, lad. Ye can do it.”
“Three.” He took a deep breath. “Four.”
“Aye. Ye’re almost there. We’ll say it together.”
“Five.”
“Five.”
Slowly, Cameron opened his eyes, letting reality creep back into his mind. It was still hot and the fire was still growing stronger, but he wasn’t as panicked.
“Where are ye, Mum?” he asked, pushing himself off the ground to look around for her.
“Over here,” she called from behind him.
He spun around, sure that she could get him out of the mess he found himself in. To his surprise, his mother was standing only a few steps away from him. The smoke and embers made her look hazy, her figure bending in the heat, but he would have recognized her anywhere.
Her thick, dark hair was braided into a single rope that sat on her left shoulder. Her dress, though it had been smudged with flour that morning, was spotless. And she wore the same, warm smile that brought him comfort unimaginable. It was a smile that told him everything was going to be just fine.
“Cameron,” she called. “Are ye comin’?”
“Aye! Aye! Dinnae leave me. I’m right behind ye!”
With the little strength he had left, Cameron pushed himself off the ground, doing his best to ignore how his lungs burned with the effort. He told himself that it would take just a few more seconds before he was out of the fire and could breathe again. A few more seconds and he would be wrapped in his mother’s arms with his brother and sister. A few more seconds and this nightmare would be over.
But when he picked his head up to look for his mother again, she had disappeared. The same panic he had just fought back returned with a vengeance.
“Mum?” he all but screamed into the flames that had consumed the space where she once stood.
“Over here.”
Cameron turned around again, relieved to see his mother standing in a different place this time. He rubbed his eyes, convinced he had gotten himself turned around somehow. Not wanting to lose sight of her again, he locked eyes with her and took a step towards her, doing his best to avoid the fire. It was then that he noticed that something was off.
“Are ye going to get me out of here?” he asked, desperate for reassurance.
“Of course, my love. Walk towards me and everything will be all right.”
She held out a hand for him to take, but just as he reached out for her, her fingers flickered. It was enough to make him question the entire thing. He froze. This time as he looked at her, he realized that she didn’t seem to be standing in the hut with him. She was somewhere else entirely.
The haze around her wasn’t from smoke but from a bright light that blurred the edges of her body. Behind her there wasn’t a burning building but a lush paradise, filled with grass the shade of green he had never seen before and flowers that dotted the meadow. Her hair blew in a wind that he couldn’t feel. The dark circles that had been under her eyes since Senga was born had faded. Even her smile seemed happier.
He didn’t know where she was or what was happening, but he knew that she was not truly there. He also knew that wherever she was, he wanted to be too. It seemed so much more peaceful, so much more beautiful than the world he knew. And he wasn’t sure that he wanted to be in a world without his mother at all.
“Hello?”
An unfamiliar voice broke Cameron’s attention from his mother. He looked away, only for a split second, trying to discover where it had come from. Unable to see through the fire, Cameron gave up. When he looked back towards his mother, she was gone. Her hand wasn’t stretched out for him, she wasn’t offering a comforting smile. There was nothing but fire and smoke.
Distraught, he collapsed. The floorboards creaked under his weight, weakened by the heat from the flames and decades of unuse. Tears slid down his cheeks, streaking through the soot that had blackened them. He wanted to go with his mother. He wanted to leave it all behind. But as soon as the thought registered, he knew he couldn’t go. His siblings were out there, waiting for him to survive. They were waiting for him to take care of them. He was the only person who still could.
In one last attempt, Cameron sucked in as much air as he could before screaming his loudest.
“Help me! Please! Help me!”
Something to his right splintered, sending a fresh wave of smoke and embers through the air. Cameron curled up in a ball, guarding his face with his arms as he watched the side wall of the hut come down. He waited for someone to leap over the flames and pull him out the way his siblings had been saved, but no one did.
