Rosa watched as Imogen took it in, and for a moment, she wondered what life would have been like had she and Billy not divorced. Maybe theywouldhave had another baby, a sibling for Imogen, or maybe two. That had been the plan, hadn’t it?
She felt eyes on her and looked up to find Billy watching her watch the scene.
"Alright?" Billy asked.
"Yes, I was just…" She let her words trail off. What good would come from saying it out loud now?
Chapter five
The coffee was good, and Rosa sat quietly at the table, sipping hers and watching as planes landed and took off. People in hi-vis clothing moved vehicles and luggage around.
The girls were seated on a sofa, still laughing and staring into phones, chattering incoherently with a higher pitch than usual, excited for what was to come.
After a moment, Rosa turned and looked around the lounge, mostly seeing businessmen on laptops and reading newspapers. As much as this upgrade was such a Billy thing to do, Rosa had to admit it was nice not having to sit out in the noisy hall with everyone else, staring up at TV screens for any sign your gate had opened.
And the free breakfast wasn't bad either, she considered. Luxuries—that was what this all was as far as Rosa was concerned, but she had to concede, it was nice.
She scanned further. Billy was nowhere to be seen.
"Probably chatting up a waitress,"she mumbled to herself."Oh, why do you even care?"she scolded.
At that moment, Billy came into view, rubbing her hands together and pulling a funny face as she closed the gap between them and plonked herself down onto a chair opposite Rosa.
"Loos are fancy." She chuckled. "Did you want another coffee? I think I'm going to grab another pastry…might even wrap a couple up for on the plane." The devilish wink and smirk sent a shiver through Rosa’s nervous system. All these years, and Billy could still do that to her.
Despite her body's betrayal, Rosa smiled and lifted her bag, opening it to reveal a small package of serviette-wrapped pastries. "No need." She closed it quickly and glanced up to see if she'd been caught. "Used to do it all the time when Immy was little. Buffets were a good source of a free meal when things were tight."
Billy looked away and out of the window for a moment before she turned back and reached for Rosa's hand.
"What are you—" Rosa tried to pull away but Billy held firm.
"I'm sorry," Billy said sincerely. "I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you both all those years, and I'm sorry that it was such a struggle for you, financially and—"
Rosa finally pulled her hand free. The tingle of something too recognisable swept through her again. "It was. I can't pretend otherwise."
"I don't want you to." Billy sat back but continued to hold her eye contact. "I just want you to know that I appreciate all that you did for her." She paused before adding, "For us."
"Someone had to, didn't they?" Rosa spoke softly. The anger of yesteryear was gone for the moment, but there was still an element of residual bitterness lingering. They'd been at peace with each other for the last few years. The trust, to a certain extent, had been rebuilt. There was no need to rock the boat now. "What's done is done. The important thing now is Imogen. She's all that matters."
Billy nodded. "Yes, she is." She glanced back over her shoulder at their daughter, spread out and lounging with her friends. "But I can still be grateful that you kept those parts of me from her…that you didn't badmouth me to her. You had every right to."
"And what would that have solved?" Rosa asked. "She was already anxious enough withme. Adding you in when she didn't even remember you would just have been cruel."
Billy flinched, then nodded and turned away to stare out of the window again.
Rosa bit her nail and watched Billy’s reflection in the glass, unsure why she felt the urge to assuage Billy's guilt, but she did.
"I didn't do it for you, or for me. I did what I needed to do forher. I knew the questions would come at some point.‘Why don't I have a daddy?’ Having to explain she had another mummy was awkward enough, without dumping it all on her that she left us.” She paused, and drew in a steadying breath. “It was difficult enough. I didn't need to make it worse…for her...or you."
After a moment, Billy turned back, her eyes glassy. "And…did she? Ever ask about me?"
Rosa's chest tightened. How had they never talked about this? She'd been so intent on making sure Imogen was cared for, she'd never taken the time for herself and Billy to talk about things.
"Yes," Rosa answered honestly. "When she was three, she asked why everyone else had two people."
"What did you tell her?"
"I didn't know what to say, so I fudged it a little and said that that's just how it is for some little boys and girls, and others only need one." Rosa remembered the day like it was yesterday, Imogen in her little blue dungarees, hair in pigtails. "She just accepted it and that was it."
