“It feels like I do,” Billy answered, her face buried against Rosa’s chest. “I’ve always felt so responsible for everyone around me.”
“So, this time how about we make it a shared responsibility?”
“I’d like that.” Billy looked up and stroked Rosa’s cheek. “I know where things went wrong. I wasn’t telling you what I needed in a way we could actually deal with.” She smiled sadly. “And I understand why that made you resentful and frustrated with me.”
“You’re not that person now,” Rosa said softly. “I can see that, and I think maybe there are some things I need to work through for myself when we get home.”
Billy frowned. “What do you mean?”
Rosa pressed her palm to Billy’s chest and let the warmth steady her.
“I want to make sure that I come into this as the best version of me, too.” She stared into Billy’s eyes, all aware and hopeful. “It wasn’t all on you that we split, I could have handled your illnessbetter had I been more self-aware. Roger mentioned my parents earlier, and it got me thinking about my relationship with them and how…as a family, we seem to just walk away.”
Billy nodded but remained silent.
“I suppose that’s what I learnt as a child and then into being an adult—that when something isn’t working, and you already think you’ve done enough to try and fix it—you just walk away.” She pressed her lips together and held off the emotions that clawed at her throat. “It’s only now that I realise we…I…could have done more. I gave up too quickly, and then I was so busy with being this warrior single mother that I didn’t give myself a moment to consider you, or us, again.”
“That’s a big realisation, Rosa.”
Rosa exhaled a shaky breath. “Maybe one I should have come to sooner.”
“Shoulda, woulda, coulda, never solved anything.” Billy grinned. “We did what we could in the moment. There’s no shame in that.”
“Still, thereisguilt that I carry, and I think it would be a good place to start with a therapist when we get back.”
“I’ll support whatever you need to do.”
Rosa pressed closer and kissed Billy softly—nothing more than a promise. “I love you—always have. There’s never been anyone but Billy Fisk in here.” She laced their fingers and held Billy’s hand over her heart.
“Ditto.”
Chapter seventy-five
Imogen woke to an empty bed. She rubbed at her eyes and didn’t dwell on it when she noticed the time on her watch. It was a little after 8a.m. Her mum was always up at six, so this was a lie-in, she thought, as she stretched her arms and tried not to yawn.
She threw the covers back and swung her legs out of bed, shivering a little at the loss of the heavy duvet and blankets.
Her slippers—the ones she’d gotten for Christmas—were under the bed where she’d left them, and she quickly slid them onto her feet. She needed the toilet and hurried across the room to the door.
Opening it, she expected to hear voices downstairs, but it was all still quiet, so she crept along the hall and entered the bathroom.
Rosa woke feeling warm and calm, and then the realisation slammed into her like a sledgehammer—the arm around her waist, the hot breath against her neck—they’d fallen asleep.
She tried to ease herself from Billy’s grip, but even in her slumber, Billy wasn’t letting her go.
“Billy, you have to move so I can get up.”
There was a mumble of something incoherent in response. The arm shifted, palm gliding to cup her breast.
“We do not have time for that,Willamina.” Rosa giggled. She’d rarely used Billy’s full name, but she knew it was the only thing that would shake her awake.
“Huh, what? Yes, Mum.” Billy spoke rapidly, as she woke and sat up.
“Good to know that still works.” Rosa chuckled and lifted the covers to slide out. She turned and quickly placed a kiss to the side of Billy’s mouth. “When you’ve brushed your teeth, I’ll kiss you properly. Till then, I need to sneak back into bed with Imogen.”
Billy blinked the sleep away. “What time is it?”
“I don’t know, but we fell asleep and—” She noticed Billy’s watch still on her wrist and lifted it to look. “It’s gone eight.” Rosa felt a tightness begin to take hold. “Imogen will be awake soon.”
