He was going insane, absolutely insane. When the pressure in his chest, the irrational anger toward hisfriends, and his belligerent bear became too much to handle, he gave Ben a quick warning and fled.
Out in the backyard, he blinked back at the first stars in the sky and beelined for the trees, narrowly avoiding shifting in the middle of the lawn. He’dneverhad his bear so close to the surface, hammering the inside of his ribs, scratching and huffing and acting like a real asshole. Elliott gave over to his beast and relished the familiar stretch as his body changed forms, growing to several times his human size.
He tried not to succumb to anxiety, knowing Beck was on watch in case his grizzly tried to return to Northrop. With a dash of alpha power behind a command, Ben could bring Elliott’s beast to heel, and he would, if needed. Elliott hadn’t gone into specifics with Ben, but he made it clear he needed to get out for a run before something stupid happened.
Something stupid had already happened. Kissing Fern at the apartment was a huge mistake. His interest in her was intense before, both his and his animal’s, but after feeling her soft body beneath him, tasting her on his lips, nuzzling into her neck—he needed more.
He never should’ve waited so long between lays. This potential bondwas absurd, so much more intense given his dry spell.
His bear was furious with the way things were going and took the opportunity to posture at a tree, huffing out of frustration.
“Burn off your energy. Go,”he commanded his beast, hoping the grizzly would listen.
He seemed responsive enough to Elliott’s wishes, heading north toward the mountains, not east toward home, but it was better than nothing.
The sun-warmed forest floor was a balm to Elliott’s anxious soul as he experienced the world through his animal. It was one of his favorite ways to go about the day; he wasn’t in charge, and he couldn’t fuck up. His bear could. But everyone knew a shifter’s animal was a separate being. Close and connected, sure, but a separate consciousness. Elliott was on hiatus, and his grizzly was in control.
Whatever happened, it wasn’t his fault.
Sniffing the air incessantly, his animal picked up earth and pine, a whiff of wildflowers, and the crisp river not a mile ahead. As he settled in for a long walk around familiar territory, Elliott let himself loose on his thoughts.
What the fuck was wrong with him? He’d nearly bitten through his own cheek when Fern told Noa how beautiful she was. He wanted the compliments. Worse still, he wanted to rip Able’s arm off when he’d touched Fern’s shoulder at the table. When Adam gave her that birdhouse, and she grinned and thanked him, Fitz sneered so hard Ben sidled up and asked if he smelled a fart.
Everything she received was so fucking thoughtful, so perfect for her. Then he gave her some dumb dishes. They weren’t even a matching set—on purpose because he wanted them to fit her apartment—but would anyone else know that? No. It just looked like he grabbed some miscellaneous shit from his sales racks and chucked it in a bag. That loaf of bread wasn’t even supposed to be for her, it was for him, but he could make another one, and he thought she might like it. It was just a bunch of things hethoughtshe might enjoy. He wasn’t even brave enough to look at her when she opened his present; couldn’t have, even if he wanted to, seeing as his heart was hammering so fast he had spots in his vision.
He was so fucked.
The stars sparkled in earnest, and the moon's sliver had risen high by the time his bear decided to turn back from the foothills and amble toward civilization again. Elliott didn’t need to be worried about Able or Noa oranyone. Fern was just a gregarious person and he was overreacting.
Right?
But she smelled like Adam the first time Elliott met her, and Adam touched her at the party and made her a gift by hand. Elliott had done those things too at various times, but he had a damn good reason for it: They were potential mates.
His bear froze, clacked his teeth together, and slapped at the ground with a big paw.
No, there was no fucking way. There was nowayFern was also a potential mate of Adam Ableman’s, was there?
With a roar that rattled the aspens—or maybe that was the breeze—Elliott’s bear hit the trailhard, charging headlong toward the valley.
Another potential mate for Fern wasn’t outside of the realm of possibility. Bears were more solitary, more secretive, less reliant on the pack for direction in their decision-making compared with the wolves and many of the others. Had Able already made a move?
God, Fitz felt fucking foolish for kissing her without checking first. But she’d reacted positively, right? He didn’t think he’d imagined it. What the hell was he going to do? He wasn’t interested in a relationship. He didn’t want someone else in his life. But could he handle watching Fern with Adam?
Able could give her a much more structured future. He was wealthier, his home was nicer, he acted as a handyman forfunin his free time. What could Elliott offer? Some bud, mismatched ceramics, fresh bread? A bunch ofbullshit, that’s what he brought to the table. His house was small, hislifewas small. Granted, he liked it that way. But could he change for Fern? Did he want to?
Halfway committed to giving up the woman he didn’t have, and half convinced he needed to fight for her, expand his online business, buy more land, build a bigger home… he spiraled. Elliott’s bear splashed downstream, nearing the top of the waterfall, while Elliott questioned his sanity.
Then he smelled it, beyond the crisp clarity of the rushing water, there were berries, jasmine, and that smooth hint of vanilla. Up on his hind legs, his grizzly inhaled again, checking the direction of her scent. It wasn’t coming from the ridge; it was rising on the updraft. She was down there.
Huffing sporadically, he took a steep path down the slope behind the Lodge, just east of the big waterfall.
Where was Fern? She had to be close. Was she at his house? Was she at the Lodge? What could she be doing down there so late?
The answerhadto be Adam. Fuck! He knew it. He fucking knew it.
Able’s scent—wood and spices—mixed together with her berries, and Elliott’s bear charged down the final stretch of slope, foaming at the mouth.
Where was she? Where were they? He couldn’t let this happen. He had to stop them, scare them apart, get them to call it off.
