I wave an annoyed hand. “That’s a technicality. You’re Amriel’s goblin form. His…hopes. His wishes. Hissecret desires.”
He holds my eyes. “Yes.”
Ishanna’s blood, I almost wish he’d denied that. I drag my hands down my face, then force them to my sides, though I can’t stop my fingers from digging into my palms. “This is ridiculous. This is mad. Why didn’t youtell me?”
“I didn’tnottell you. When you asked about mates, I told you they’re two souls, Princess. Two souls tied by fate. Not three.”
I stamp my foot, gratified when a twig shatters beneath my boot. He’s right, but… “You knew I thought you were brothers. Twins.”
He chews on that. “I suspected, but what was I supposed to do? You were already avoiding me. You barely let me near you. Was I supposed to tell you I was also someone you outright hate?”
When I don’t answer, his brows crook. “At least…Ithoughtyou outright hated him. But maybe you’re right. Maybe I should’ve said something. Maybe, if I’d told you I was Amriel’s Shadow, you might’ve kissed me, too.”
Something hot and red bubbles in my chest. Goddess, I want to slap him again, or scream. On second thought, I have no reason not to, so I do. Just throw my head back and holler at the top of my lungs, giving voice to this volcanic eruption of frustration and betrayal.
When I finish, the Shadow peers at me in shock.
“How do you even know about that kiss?” I hurl the question like I’m stabbing him with it. “Were you…watching, somehow?”
Something heated passes behind his eyes. He doesn’t answer right away, but the way he skims a thumb across his bottom lip does it for him.
“Oh, so you actuallyfeltit,” I accuse. “Great. Why wouldn’t you, when me carving your shoulder carved his, too? Isthathow Amriel always knew what you and I had talked about, then? Because he was listening? Because I was having a conversation with both of you at once?”
He hesitates. “Well?—”
“So youarethe same person,” I hiss.
Darkness clouds his expression. “That’s not… Look. Wewere. And yes, we still share a body, and a fate. Because if he dies, I die. If I die, he dies. And yes, I can tell what he feels, hear what he thinks. See what he sees. But everything that comes from him is muted, and I’ve spent so much time in this form that we don’t want the same things, anymore. I’m him if he were ruled by passion, and he’s me if I were ruled by logic, but we’re two forks of a road that diverged long ago. Me? I want nothing more than to keep you safe, Princess. I’d die to do it. Happily. But meanwhile, he wants…” He gropes for words, fails to find them, and glances down, his jaw tight.
“What?” I spit. “What does he want?”
“It’s…complicated,” the Shadow finally says. “Hewantsto want nothing. But he can’t, so he just fights with himself. And ends up being a pain in my ass as a result. Ineveryone’s.”
I blow out a breath. That much, at least, we agree on. “Okay, fine. So you were born one person, and now you’re functionally two. But what about the curse? If I break it, you’ll go back to how you were? You’ll be one person again? This separation is what’s hurting him so badly?”
He nods. “If you break the hourglass, we’ll be one again. And yes, he’ll be free of his pain.Wewill.”
I stare. In the silence, a shiver dances across his skin, so forceful I canseeit, a flicker of purple light. I frown.
“Sorry,” he says. “That came from him. Mostly.”
I blink. “You mean he’s listening?”
His mouth twists. “He’s always listening.”
I shriek, venting another burst of outrage. “Goddess, will you stop, already? Just go away! Leave me alone!”
The Shadow’s eyes widen.
“I’m talking to him,” I clarify. “Not you.”
Then again, maybe Amrielcan’tgo away. Maybe he can’t shut off his awareness of what’s happening here any more than I can shut off my awareness of my left arm.
I shake my head. Goddess, this is…soconfusing.
And in the end, it doesn’t actually matter. I don’t have time for this,and once I get home, Amriel and his Shadow will have ceased to be my problem. By then, they won’t even be two people anymore.
I pinch between my closed eyes, doing everything I can to calm myself. Deep breath in, deep breath out. When I open my eyes again, I toe the dagger. “This is for me?”
