Two minutes later, he was back in the living room, keys in hand. Paige hadn’t moved.
He hustled her to the truck, oddly desperate to get her out of the house. Once they’d climbed in, he jammed the key into the ignition, but didn’t start the engine.
“Look.” He cleared his throat. “Your mother and I might disagree sometimes, but I don’t want you to worry. It’s never going to affect you. I won’t let it, and I’m not going anywhere. Not ever. You understand that, right?”
A wan smile tugged at Paige’s mouth. “I know. It’s not eventhat, really. It’s just...” Her eyes slid to her lap. She picked at a fingernail.
“What?”
“Are you... happy?” She raised her eyes. “I wonder, sometimes.”
He hesitated. Well, shit. Happiness. What did that feel like? Did he even know? His mind searched for experiences that matched the word and dredged up moments from years ago.
Happiness...
His first kiss.Thathad been happiness—pressing Aubrey against a frozen brick wall while he ignited inside. He remembered, too, what it had felt like later, hearing her breathing change as they lay in the darkness and sought sleep in each other’s arms. Not to mention their night together in front of her fireplace. Jesus Christ, that night by the fireplace.
The moments didn’t end there, though. There were more. Ones that had come after.
He thought of how his soul had grown to eclipse the entire known universe when he’d held his baby daughter for the first time. He’d kissed the bottoms of Paige’s tiny feet and marveled at their softness, at skin that had never seen a shoe or taken a step.Thathad been happiness. So was the way she’d questioned everything as a child, how she’d made him stop to think about things he’d hardly even noticed before, like why water swirled around a drain and owls only hooted at night.
Then she’d grown into a young woman who made the score toThe Sound of Musicswell in the background whenever she was around.
“I’m plenty happy,” he said carefully. “I know it might not seem like it, and I can be a grouchy old man sometimes. But that’s just me. It doesn’t mean there aren’t things I live for. Like being your dad. Being your family. That’s the happiest thing in my whole damn life. It always has been.”
Paige’s eyes softened. She reached for his hand, coaxing open the clenched fist he’d unwittingly pressed into the bench seat. “You know you’re the best dad I could ask for, right?”
The band that had clamped around his chest days ago loosened a fraction. “Thanks, Peanut. And you’re a hundred times more incredible than I ever expected. I couldn’t be prouder to call you my daughter. You knowthat, I hope.”
“Obviously.” She smiled, lopsided. “I just... wish you had everything you wanted. That you were happy every minute of every day. Because of everyone I know, you’re the one who deserves that most.”
Mist sprang up behind his eyes. Shit, could she be any sweeter?
But he couldn’t cry. Not when she was the one who needed reassuring. “Thanks. But it’s not your job to worry about me. It’smyjob to worry aboutyou. So you just leave my moody bullshit to me, okay? I’ll be fine, as long as you are.”
She smiled. Not with her usual brightness, but close. “Okay. If you say so.”
He tugged his hand away, then started the truck and swiped at his eyes when she wasn’t looking. Paige leaned back, her attention on the window. He drove in silence, knowing it wouldn’t take long before she banished the lingering shadows with her shine.
Sure enough, she started talking inside of a minute, filling the cab with her chatter.
Nick drove toward that new café on Ivy and Harkness—Lindy’s Place? Windy’s Place?—while Paige updated him on school, math club, and college admissions. Apparently, she and Maria had decided to apply to the same schools and hoped to room together, wherever they ended up.
He made affirmative noises at every opportunity. Paige eventually moved on to an article she’d read, about astronomerswho’d discovered a planet that resembled a giant marshmallow. “Can you imagine? A marshmallow! Amarshmallow! Maybe I’ll get to do that someday. Find a whole planet that could float in a bathtub. Maybe I’ll name it after you.”
He chuckled. “Me? Why? Because I’m justsodamn fluffy?”
“No.” She giggled. “Because you lighten up my world. Get it?”
“Oh, wow.” He shook his head. “We’re making density jokes, now?”
“We sure are.”
He blew out a breath. “Okay. Whatever floats your boat, kiddo.”
She tinkled a bell-like laugh. “I see what you did there. And guess what? It only makes me love you s’more. Get it? Because marshmallows. Ha!”
He groaned. But only because he knew that she knew he loved her cheeseball puns.
