Aubrey’s final summer in Henderson was, by an order of magnitude, also her happiest. The June days melted together, a sticky whirl of fireflies, laughter, and stolen kisses sweetened with watermelon juice.
True to his word, Nick got a job at the mill, slinging the scrap iron that fed the blast furnaces day and night. Aubrey racked up hours at the bowling alley, blocking off gutters for kids’ birthday parties and handing out rental shoes.
Neither had any love for their work, but their savings accounts grew by the week, and they had each other, and that was all she cared about.
One humid night in July, she and Nick drove out to the old quarry in her battered Subaru. He spread a blanket on the pebbled ground and pulled her down. She loved the way he molded himself against her now, unhesitating, guided by half a year of learning how they fit together best.
She settled her head on his chest—her favorite pillow. Overhead, the sky hung warm and close, the stars a heated prickle.Tufts of tall grass nodded in the breeze while another couple murmured nearby.
It was always like that out here—private, but not. The scattered knolls shielded half a dozen trysts, mostly high schoolers who’d escaped their parents’ watchful eyes. Protocol demanded that everyone keep to themselves, so Aubrey watched the stars, how their light pulsed in time with Nick’s heartbeat.
His arm tightened around her. “Aubs?”
“Yeah?”
“I’ve been thinking.”
The brittleness of his tone made her hoist up onto an elbow. She sought his eyes in the dimness. “About?”
“New York. I won’t have enough. Not by August, at least. I’ve been looking at apartment listings, and even if we lease a studio, it’ll cost us at least eighteen hundred a month. First and last month’s rent,plusa deposit, will be five grand, at least.”
Her breath caught. “Okay. What’re you saying?”
His fingers caressed her arm, long strokes probably meant to reassure her. “That this whole thing might work better if you do a semester in the dorms, first. Your student loans’ll actually cover that. I could come out once I’ve saved some more. After your winter break, maybe. In January.”
She tensed. Not because he was wrong, but because he was right. She’d done the math herself and reached the same conclusion, but hadn’t wanted to believe it. Or maybe she’d stacked all her faith in the power of her own wanting. If she willed for something hard enough, she could make it happen.When life puts something in your way, go around it. When life knocks you down, get right back up.
“No,” she said. “I’m not living in the dorms.”
“But we don’t haveenough, Aubs. I mean, maybe we could scrape together enough to move in, but afterward? You’ll be in school, and it’ll take time for me to find another job, and—”
“So I’ll wait,” she blurted. Her hand fisted his thin cotton shirtfront. “I’ll defer my enrollment for a year.”
“No,” he said, with force.
“Yes.”
“No. Fuck no. You want to get out of here as badly as I do. I’m not gonna let you screw that up on my account. Just go to New York. Live your dream. I’ll come as soon as I can.” He paused. “Unless... you decide you don’t want me, by then.”
“What?” Her mind tripped over the thought. “How can you even say that? That would never happen.”
Nick stared up. The fierce black stars of his eyes outshone the sky above.
Aubrey gulped down the stone forming in her throat. She couldn’t lose this. Shewouldn’t. The way he held her, the way he looked at her—every moment only deepened her conviction that whatever her path in life, she wanted him walking it with her.
Then a thought wormed its way in. One that soured her stomach and shrank it to a marble. “Wait. This isn’t your way of breaking up with me, is it?”
“Breaking up with you?” His grip on her arm tightened. “Me?Breaking up withyou?”
“Yeah.” Her voice wobbled. “Like, you send me off to New York and promise to come, but then January turns into August, and August turns into January again, and eventually I give up waiting and realize you’ve moved on?”
He let out a hiss—harsh, almost angry. He levered upward and spun her beneath him. Her knees fell wide, her skirt pooling around her hips.
Nick settled himself between her thighs without seeming to notice the compromising position. He speared her with a look so intent she swore he could read her innermost secrets. “If you had any idea what you mean to me, you’d never say that.”
Her hands clamped around his sides. “I wouldn’t?”
“No.” He sucked in a breath, his rib cage swelling beneath her fingers. “Aubrey MacLean. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. The only person who’s ever really seen me. That’s not something I canmove onfrom, and I couldn’t stop loving you if I tried. I’ll be yours for as long as you’ll have me. I’ll write you love letters until I’m too old to see the words anymore, if that’s what you want. Even if you don’t, I’ll still love you until I’m dust in the ground, and probably after that, too, because I’ve never met anyone as fearless or determined or true to themselves as you are, and it makes me a better person just to be near you. Just to breathe your air.”
