His head rang inside, as if Jackson had just clocked him a good one. “What? How? Did Mom tell you? Because she said—”
Paige flung up a hand. “I don’t mean I figured out who the actual guy is. And please don’t give me a name. I don’t wanna know. I just mean I know who mydadis. Because it’s you.”
Moisture clogged his eyes. He tried to summon words and failed.
“Aw. Daddy.” She scooted in and wrapped him in a side-hug. “I’m sorry. I should’ve realized.”
He swiped at his nose. “What, that I’ve been a wreck over it?”
“Yeah,” she said gently. “I mean, I’m not gonna lie, it’s been hard for me. Really hard. And at first, I wasn’t sure who to question. You or Mom. I thought for a minute Aubrey might be my mom, when I found that letter. The timing lined up, at least. And I always wondered where I got the red in my hair. So I thought maybe you’d gotten Aubrey pregnant and she’d gone off to New York after having me, and... thinking about that sucked. Not that I don’t love her, I do. But I don’t think I could’ve thought about Mom the same way, if she wasn’t really my mom. So I can’t tell you how relieved I was when I realized it was you, instead. Because Idostill think the same way about you. One hundred million percent.”
He sniffled. “One hundred million percent isn’t actually a thing.”
“It is in my world. You’ve made it that way. I don’t care where the sperm came from, or whatever. You’re my dad, and anyone who says otherwise can fuck off.”
He jolted at her language. He’d never heard her curse before. He decided he loved it, and then he couldn’t hold back tears any longer. Warmth welled up and coursed out of him.
Paige hugged him tighter. A woman passed by, pushing a stroller, her gaze widening in alarm.
What, you’ve never seen a grown man cry?On the shoulder of a sixteen-year-old girl?
He wept himself dry, and when he finished, he felt better than he had in weeks.
Paige didn’t let go until he straightened and scrubbed at his cheeks.
“I’ll tell you his name, someday,” he said. “If you want to know.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think so. He doesn’t even know I exist, does he?”
Nick hesitated, his fist curling of its own accord. “He doesn’t know you’re his,” he said carefully.
“Then no. It doesn’t matter to me.”
His fingers relaxed. He hoped she never changed her mind. He planned to hoard that secret, strip it from existence by taking it to the grave with him.
She let go and scooted back to her side of the bench. “Well, I’m glad that’s out of the way. Because I wastryingto talk to you about Aubrey.”
He braced, or tried to, but his muscles had softened in the wake of his emotional outpouring. “What about her?”
“You love her.”
He held her eyes. She’d phrased it as a statement, not a question.
“A lot,” Paige said.
His jaw worked. He bought time with a sip of cider. Then dug deep for his courage and said, “Yeah. I do.”
Her entire countenance relaxed. “So why’d you let her go?”
He snorted. “Let her go? I didn’t. She got her job back. Shechoseto go.”
“But you didn’t go after her.”
“Yeah. Because my life is in Henderson.” He didn’t say,Because I have you.He didn’t want Paige to think this was in anyway her fault. He’d sooner stab himself in the eye than let the blame so much as touch her.
“But you could move,” she said. “Now that you and Mom are finally getting divorced.”
Every nerve ending curled tight. “How’d you know about the divorce?”
