“Then stay.”
She smiles small. Real.
“Okay.” Just one word. But it feels like the beginning of something impossible.
“That’s it, just okay.” I chuckle, and she slaps my chest.
“As long as you promise to make me cum and cry at least two more times,” she says.
Fuck me, she doesn’t need to ask twice.
“Oh you’re fucked now, my Little Firefly,” I tease, tickling her hips and rolling us over. She winces, and I freeze.
“It’s okay. I’ll be okay.”
“None of this is okay,” I growl.
“It was worth every second of it.” She smiles, looking up at me with those big blue eyes. “I love you. Thank you for coming back to me,” she says.
And my heart stops.
“I love you too,” I say, then press my lips against hers.
We don’t come up for air.
Fuck breathing.
If the world wants to swallow us whole, then let it. At least we’ll go under together.
Ophelia
“Him & I-Halsey & G-Eazy”
The next morning feels… dangerous. Not in a life or death kind of way. In theI fucked Hayden Marks like he was the oxygen I needed in order to live and now I can still taste him on my lipskind of way.
Which honestly might be worse. Every time I close my eyes, I can still feel his arms around me. I can hear his heart beat beneath my ear. My body tingles thinking about how good he felt inside me. How his mouth worshipped my pussy for hours.Why am I leaving? Why?
I’m such a coward. Maybe. But staying makes me want impossible things. Like forever. And forever has never belonged to people like us. I know if I stay just a second longer I never would leave. That’s the problem with Hayden. He makes forever feel possible in a world that’s spent years proving to me it doesn’t exist.
My thighs ache slightly but my ribs scream as I pull his hoodie back over my bare skin. I pause beside his bed, staring down at him sleeping sprawled on his stomach. A tattooed arm stretched across my side of the mattress like even unconsciouslyhe was searching for me. His hair messy from my fingers. Lips swollen from my kisses.Beautiful. Dangerously beautiful.
And loving him still feels like standing barefoot beside a live wire begging it not to destroy me. A lone tear falls down my cheek and I swipe it away, tiptoeing out of his room.
I take a deep breath while shutting the door softly. God, the apartment smells like him, and sex—hours of it.
It was slow at first, then desperate. Emotional, like we were trying to pour three years of grief and missing each other into skin, mouths, and tangled sheets. Not just sex though, reconnection. Like our souls are finally remembering where they belong. Another tear falls and I glance at the closed door over my shoulder. A part of me wishes he would wake up and drag me back to bed but… I know how this story ends and my heart can’t take it anymore.
I walk over to the counter and scribble down a note so at least he knows I’m safe, then take one more look at his little apartment that is everything that I will ever need and finally leave. “Goodbye, Hayden,” I whisper, then shut the door yet again, softly. I walk down the steps as tears threaten to spill over but I won’t let them fall. Not this time.
Walking down the block, I take out my phone and order myself an Uber. I could call B but I just need to be alone right now.
By the time I get back to the warehouse, dawn barely kisses the horizon and the building is quiet. Everyone is still sleeping so I curl up on the couch, clutching Hayden’s hoodie tighter around me, and close my eyes. I try so hard not to think about the way he whispered ‘stay’against my throat at four in the morning or how badly I wanted too.
I must drift off eventually because the next thing I know… the warehouse doors slam open hard enough to shake the walls, causing my eyes to fly open.Shit. Hayden.
Standing there, breathing hard like he tore through the entire city to get here. His green eyes lock onto me immediately.Furious. Relieved. Mine.
“There you are,” he growls, and my pulse stumbles.
