?He pulls his fingers from me which makes me wince and lets go of my neck as he steps back. The gold of his eyes retracting as his true form becomes contained. Revealing Varian’s pupil and red iris while stepping further back from me.
?I push off the wall and spin to face him. Ignoring the wet mess between my legs with his name on my lips when his eyes flash in warning.
?“Don’t you dare say it out of pity,” he rumbles. His voice dark but not malicious. “I’ll be ready when you are ready to be. You don’t need to accept anything right now if you don’t want to.”
?That doesn’t matter much when I’ve already tied the bond between us.
?Oh god.I’ve tied the bond between us.
?That line within is drawn taunt, strong and sure, leading directly to him. Tied directly to my soul, and I know if I don’t stay in absolute control ofeverythingthis is going to be irreversible. Fated who have cemented their bond, when one of them dies it’s usually a hundred precent sure that they both end up dying.
?No one cares when you’re young and stupid and think you have your whole life ahead of you, but me ripping my soul out is a form a death for myself and Callahan has already said thereare times when it feels like I die when I hide my aura and if something happens to me Varian will –
?“Mavyn.”
?I can’t look at him. I can’t look at him because of what I’ve done.
?I’ve cursed him.
?I’ve cursed him and damned him and he is going to die. They’re all going to hate me even more than they already do.
?“Look at me.”
?It’s a demand. A force. He has a way with imbuing power into his tone while barely raising his voice and I’m a little jealous of it.
?“Look at me while I suck my fingers that are coated in you,” he whispers.
?My eyes snap up, unbelieving, but heat has replaced the rejection and warning that were in his red eyes as they devour me. Then he lifts his right hand and puts his middle and ring finger into his mouth. My juices being sucked off his fingers and the rest still running down his hand.
?Just like he said he’d do.
?Pupils blow to nearly consume all his red as he groans from my taste. Then he begins prowling towards me and I inch back until I hit the door.
?His jaw is hard but his shoulders are relaxed. There’s no malice around him, just pure electric heat.
?“Tell me you’re alright.”
?Another demand but no power behind his words.
?When he reaches me he keeps his hands at his sides and bows his head to keep holding eye contact. I can see his soul past and his true form there. A lump of shadow curled in on itself, rejected by me.
?“Mavyn.”
?It’s a plea now. Whispered in the space between us because I have not answered him and I can see him trying to see my own soul. I can see the begging – feel it – within him wishing to see my soul.
?And that thought snags my depressive spiral happening because in order for fated to cement the bond between them they have to look and see each other’s souls. The only person who has seen my whole soulever, is Darian.
?“You haven’t see my soul.”
?A muscle in his jaw feathers, but his eyes turn sad. “Not yet, bloodsucker.”
?I shake my head and then place my hands on his chest and push as I step away from the door. He steps back willingly as I contemplate.
?“You haven’t seen my soul,” I repeat as I look blindly around the room. “None of you have seen my soul.”
?Our bond can’t be cemented because he hasn’t seen my soul yet. It’s not possible.
?“Mavyn, what are you – “
