?He’s not within this room connected to his office. A sort of parlor that I walk through to the other set of doors also open. I had walked out of these rooms last night after waking up in hisbed. The pain – the burning – it had been excruciating. I barely lasted a couple minutes before I passed out.
?Then I woke up with a cool cloth on my forehead and all my clothes righted. I had wanted to sleep for longer with the burning still lingering, but I heard muffled voices and then Darian’s voice about how there was no fucking. That’s when I pushed myself out of the bed and went out. I could tell it was Castiel in the room, and I didn’t want to face him, but I also wasn’t going to let him try to claim me. I can spend my time with whoever I want.
?Entering Darian’s bedroom, I glance at where his bathroom must be. The door is cracked with light spilling out and the sound of a shower on. Annoyance flickers because why is he in the shower when he told me to strip nearly ten minutes ago. I’ve been waiting and I still have classes later.
?I’m also starving and exhausted. He couldn’t have waited to shower until after all this?
?Fisting my hands, I march over to the bathroom door and push it open. Steam clouds the room and fogs the long mirror over the his and hers sink and vanity. The shower is off to the left with a large bathtub beside it and while the shower stall is made of glass it is also fogged so I can’t see Darian within.
?I’m about to snap at him when Ifeela type of corrupted equilibrium behind me. A scale of justice, but it is not right verse wrong, it’s soul verses soul.
?I canfeelhim not because of what is supposed to be a fate tie between us, but because my soul acknowledges what he is. Acknowledges. . . and fears.
?“You’re a – “
?“Shhh.” His breath whispering over my ear and his pine and death scent crowding me. I can feel the warmth of his body against my back now. The power and strength in his aura as he eases on that carefully built constraint. “Start taking your deep breaths now, Mavyn.”
?His tone holds a demand in line with Varian. A dominance you wouldn’t think he has, not just because he’s an angel but because of how he lets people perceive him.
?Of the celestials, devils are at the top. Then the demigods, angels, and demons. Devils are above the other three because they were created before the others and because of their true form. Without their true form the demigods would be above them all due to their primordial ancestry, and then there are the angels and demons.
?But. . . angels also have a true form. A fact everyone forgets because everyone associates true forms with damning, destruction, and death. Things that are associated with the stereotypes humans have given to devils and demons.
?Angels – because their aesthetic reigns with purity and righteousness – don’t click with true forms. And yet they have them, nonetheless. Because true forms are not simply damning, destruction, and death. True forms are the gears of a pocket watch ticking away while being swung back and forth on a chain.
?True forms are ordained by those powers that are higher than the primordials. After all, you have to think about who created the gods.
?True forms are what keep balance and order within the universe. And his. . .
?“Breathe,” he whispers again, more demanding. “I said to breathe, not hold your breath.”
?Oh.
?I hadn’t realized I had stopped breathing. How long was I holding my breath? We haven’t been standing here for that long – I don’t think.
?Doing as he says, I slowly release all the air in my lungs before slowly inhaling through my nose. I exhale slowly through my mouth again while steadying my heartrate and blood flow to a slow steady pace. It immediately relaxes my body and then my fucking uterus cramps.
?The pinch makes my next inhale stutter and my hands which I had at my side press into my lower stomach.
?“What’s wrong?” Darian asks.
?His tone is less dominating and more intrigued. Pulling back to stand at his full height. The steam from the shower makes my scars itch and now the pain of cramps weighs on my body. That doesn’t include the fact that I’m still fucking hungry and tired.
?I start shaking my head and hunching my back to cradle my stomach. “We’ll have to do this another time. I’m. . .” Everything teeters for a minute as I lock my knees and squeeze my eyes shut. “I’m not feeling well. Hungry, tired, in pain. I just can’t. . .”
?I swear if I fall down on this ground right now I’m going to fall asleep. I can feel the sluggishness of my body as my consciousness fights.
?He hums and I begin to turn when some sort of sheet or. . . towel? It feels like a towel that covers my shoulders and then I feel his hands grip me. “What’s wrong? Your scent heightened and it’s sweeter not heady.”
?Fuck.
?Of course he can tell something is up. Blood means a stronger scent and it’s the fifteenth. It’s a full moon. It’s the start of my cycle.
?I had been wondering when it was going to be coming back. While I was comatose because of my body in a constant state of dying – I’m only alive because of magic forcing my organs to continue functioning – it erased my period for those couple of months. It’s the same way a woman could have an irregular period due to stress or diet.
?But I’m fine now and so is my fucking menstruation.
?I shake my head again but Darian’s hands tighten. Whatever. It’s not like I really care. Females have periods, people need to get over it.
