“Not yet?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.
I let out a long breath, focusing on where Hugo had laid on his side in some shade, panting and happy. Muggsie laid down next to him.
“We were all on a stakeout today,” I said. “And we, uh, might’ve started making out.”
“That was upsetting?” she asked with a teasing lilt to her voice.
“No, but a cop showed up and that wasn’t fun,” I said, keeping my eyes on Hugo. “He didn’t do anything but ask us to move. But it started making me think.”
“Think about being a police officer?” Ysabella asked. When I looked at her, I could see that she was making a joke. I tried to grin.
“It made me think about breaking laws,” I said. “I’ve been so focused on finding Gale, then figuring out what was going on, that I didn’t consider other things. I haven’t studied since this all started, which means I’m not going to be ready to take the bar when the next test is administered. If I get caught breaking into someone’s house, or with a dead body, I could lose my license before I even take the test.”
“Does that bother you?” Ysabella asked. “Or would it be a relief that you have an excuse to not be a lawyer again?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, that’s what I'm struggling with.”
“Do you really have to decide right now?” Ysabella asked. “Does anything need to be done right away?”
“I guess not,” I said slowly. “But I don’t like being in limbo.”
“But you’re not in limbo,” Ysabella said. “You’re exploring.”
Her answer sounded like an excuse. “I’m too old to be exploring. I should know what I want to do by now.”
Ysabella burst out laughing. “What does age have to do with it? If anything, the older we get, the more we should see the value in exploring. Exploring the world, your options, and yourself. It’s fine to feel passionate about something, but if you don’t, the only answer is to try everything until you find your passion.”
The thought that I could spend time doing anything I wanted, even if it wasn’t practical, was counter to everything I’d lived by. My immediate reaction was to dismiss her words as ridiculous, but I made myself sit with them for a moment.
“You should think about what you value,” Ysabella continued. “What does success look like to you? When you picture yourself happy, what are you doing and who are you with? Those are the questions you can answer while exploring. Amara is a good example to follow. She’s made a lot of positive impact in the world in many different ways. She’s also spent time purely having fun. There’s no reason you can’t do one and then the other.”
“You know Amara?” I asked.
“When it comes to creatures that live as long as us, it’s a small world,” she said. “I was the only one there when she laid the boys’ egg. I was so happy for her.”
“Was it in a nest or a house?” I asked.
“I think you should ask Amara about it,” Ysabella said. “She’d enjoy telling you the whole story.
I nodded, and returned to the earlier topic. “Exploring sounds fun, but even if I’m careful, my savings won't last. I’m going to have to go back to work eventually. And I don’t have the capital to start a company!”
“Was I mistaken or haven’t the world serpent twins claimed you as their mate?” she asked.
“I guess so,” I said, feeling confused and a little uncomfortable by her question. “But we aren’t, um, official. I mean, I haven’t done that mating bite thing yet.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Ysabella said. “The bite simply connects you to them with magic. You could wait for years to take the bite, but you’d still be their mate.”
Her words made a strange feeling build in my chest. I’d been so hung up on the bite being what defined us as official that I hadn’t considered that it was peripheral to our relationship. I didn’t want to examine how I felt about this, so I focused on money.
“What do Marduk and Danzig have to do with my career?” I asked.
“They work for fun,” Ysabella said. “Like many long-lived creatures, they have wealth stockpiled everywhere. You could decide to never work again, and they could happily support you.”
“No, that’s—”
Ysabella held up a hand to stop my words.
“I need you to leave that human concept behind. In your world, there is separation or divorce. In our world, we are bound by love and magic. There might be the occasional fights or disagreements, but you’ll always work it out.” She smirked. “And make-up sex is the best sex.”
