Hugo made me want to have a dog of my own. Maybe we should buy a house further out in the country so we could have a massive yard and get many dogs.
Crouching down, I let Hugo rush me. “Hi, buddy.”
I felt Danzig’s amusement. “Are we going to be adopting dogs now?”
He knew me so well. He didn’t even need to hear my thoughts to know my intentions.
“Maybe,” I said. The leash was on the table next to the door, so I snagged it. “I’m going to take him for a walk. We’ll be back.”
“Sure,” Bec agreed. “That reminds me that I should try to call Gale again. I can’t believe she hasn’t answered me yet.”
Like the perfect boy he was, Hugo stood still for me to clip the leash to his collar. I straightened up and looked at Bec.
“She gets one more day and then Hugo belongs to us.”
With that, I walked Hugo out the door and into the nearby grassy area shared by all the condos. He went wild, sniffing all around and snorting with abandon.
“Hi, your dog is adorable!” I turned to see a woman standing next to me and smiling broadly. I could tell by her aura that she was entirely human.
“He is,” I agreed. Normally, I didn’t do small talk with random humans, but I was feeling magnanimous. “His name is Hugo. You can pet him if you want.”
She didn’t move to touch Hugo. Instead, she stepped closer to me. “Your dog might be cute, but I would’ve thought a big, muscled guy like you would want something big. Like a German shepherd or Rottweiler.”
What was I supposed to say to that? I wished Danzig was here, he was much better at social interactions than I was. Thankfully she kept talking so I wasn’t required to reply.
“I’ve thought about getting a big dog,” she continued, lowering her voice as if imparting a secret. “It can be scary to live alone. Of course, if I had a boyfriend like you, I wouldn’t be so worried.”
She looked at me expectantly so I said the first thing that popped into my head. “You could buy a machete. They’re very intimidating, and if you screamed while holding it, I’m sure it would scare most people off.”
That was clearly not the answer she was looking for because she gave me a slight frown. “I’m far too small and helpless to do something like that.”
“That’s easy to fix,” I said, then pointed to her impossibly tiny biceps. “You’re really scrawny, but if you eat more and start lifting heavy things, then you’ll gain strength. While you do that, you should practice stabbing or hacking things.”
Her mouth dropped open. “What did you say to me?”
Why did she sound so outraged? “You said you were scared to be alone, but you don’t have to be. You can be effective and strong if you want. Getting a big dog would help, I’m sure. Dogs are great. I like them. I think I’m going to get another dog. Maybe several.”
I was shocked at how many words poured out of my mouth. I wasn’t usually so talkative with strangers, but I was really beginning to like the idea of having a pack of dogs. None of them would be as wonderful as Hugo, but I’d make sure they didn’t feel like it was a competition.
“What the hell,” she exclaimed, making me draw back. “Are you an idiot or something?”
Why was she upset and insulting me? “That wasn't nice.”
I’d felt Danzig’s amusement earlier, but I’d assumed Bec caused it, but then laughter drew my attention. The two of them were standing in the open door of the condo, Danzig openly laughing, and Bec covering her mouth and trying to stifle her giggles.
The woman noticed them and then turned to face me, rage flashing on her face. “Fuck you!”
With that, she stomped off. I looked at Bec and Danzig for help. “What happened?”
“She was hitting on you,” Bec said, walking the short distance to us. “And you insulted her.”
“What? No,” I said. “She said she was scared, and I was offering practical advice.”
“You called her scrawny, brother,” Danzig said with another chuckle.
“She was,” I protested. “It was clear she didn’t eat enough and didn’t do much physical labor. If she wanted to be less scared, I thought gaining some muscle might help. Most attackers are cowards; it doesn’t take much to scare them away.”
“I can’t believe you told her to buy a machete,” Danzig said.
