“Why do you think that?” Orion asks me.
I frown, barely stopping it from turning into a pout, and sniffle hard.
“Everything turned out okay this time, but I might not be so lucky next time. When Silas woke up, he panicked, and I couldn’t stop him. He reacted like—like I was an omega and he was trying to protectme. He shouldn’t have been able to tell I’m an omega, but somehow he sensed it. Silas could have been hurt because of me, running around blindly in a dangerous area. I’m no good to anyone if I can’t keep control of the situation, especially if my designation makes it worse,” I say.
They’re quiet, I’m sure silently agreeing with my assessment.
My shoulders slump, and I start planning how to repack everything I just unpacked. They don’t need me taking up space and getting in their way.
A tear escapes, but I hastily wipe it away before it falls on my pasta.
That show of emotion only makes me more upset. It’ssuch a typical omega trait, and being an omega is ruining my life.
“Patients panic and react unpredictably all the time. They go against their own best interests without meaning to. That’s why rescuers go through so much training, so we’re able to think clearly even when we’re afraid or overwhelmed,” Orion says.
I was preparing to dramatically run to my room because I’m not sure I can keep the tears from falling, but I pause at his words.
“Silas is an alpha, he’s hard-wired to be protective. His reaction had nothing to do with you, not really. He would have acted like that regardless of who was with him,” he says.
“Youcould have stopped him and made sure he didn’t get hurt. I just let him drag me around,” I say.
Someone growls, though it cuts off so quickly I can’t tell who. It seemed to echo all around me.
Now they get it. It’s not just that Silas panicked, it’s that I couldn’t do anything about it.
“You did get a handle on things though, Hestia. No rescuer, no human, can ever have full control over every aspect of a situation. That’s why we get calls in the first place. You did the best you could to make sure you both got out safely. If you thought you needed to restrain him, you have sedatives, and the academy provides training for subduing combative patients. You could have taken that route if you thought it was appropriate,” Orion says.
“I dropped the calming sprays when Silas pulled me away,” I say sullenly.
“We heard what happened. You got through to him in the end, and you didn’t need physical strength to do so,” Orion argues.
“But I don’t know how I did it,” I whine. “There’s no guarantee I could do it again, and next time might not have a happy ending.”
“Explain what happened, and we can help you figure out what works,” Charm says.
They’re being annoyingly reasonable when I’m trying to have a breakdown here.
“Fine,” I huff. “I’d been trying to talk some sense into him, and it wasn’t working. I was so worried he was going to hurt himself running around that I tried topushmy words at him, like I could make him listen. Somehow, that worked. Maybe my tone of voice changed, and that got him to pay attention? All I remember saying is his name, and then I repeated the same things I’d already said,” I say, thinking back over the chaos.
Charm opens his mouth but closes it without saying anything.
It’s like I told them, I didn’t do anything special to calm Silas down. I’m not silver-tongued like Charm is.
Orion considers my words before saying, “Did you feel anything unusual?”
“I suppose I felt a little strange. I’m sure it was just the intensity of the moment, but for a second it felt like we actually had a connection, a bond. Although I wouldn’t know anything about how that feels, so obviously it wasn’t that,” I quickly add.
I’m sure that’s not what Orion meant because it makes no sense. It’s not like I bit Silas. Biting a patient in distress would be very much against our code of ethics.
“In rare cases, an omega can produce a hiss, which functions like an alpha’s bark. In the omega's case, it’s a subtle way to influence someone. It requires the intent to connect, and does create a brief bond between the omegaand the recipient, unlike an alpha pushing their will onto another with a bark,” Orion says. “It’s thought to have developed in response to alpha instincts, when the alpha overwhelms the rational mind. The hiss was a way to get through to them, and the connection dissipates quickly with no harm to either party. Does that sound like what happened?”
Did I actually link minds with Silas? What are the odds I’d be able to do something like that? I hardly even remember reading about a brief mention of a hiss in an old textbook.
“I suppose…a hiss would explain things. I’ve never done anything like that before, but it felt like I could sense his mind,” I say.
I’ll have to research this. If it’s safe to use like Orion said, maybe I could train myself to do it on command for emergencies. I perk up at the thought.
“Good, now I want you to stop thinking that being an omega puts you at a disadvantage,” Orion says sternly. “Even if you hadn’t used that ability, you’re still fit for this job. It’s clear you’re well-trained and have good instincts. Your designation hasn’t held you back before. Don’t let negative thoughts stop you now.”
