“Men.” He blinks a few times and clears his throat. “And I’m assuming this harassment feels threatening?”
And just like that, I am seventeen again. I can feel the Senator tightly gripping my arm after he showed up outside my dorm. He’d been texting about the NDA for a couple days and Ihadbeen ignoring him. I was so afraid and ashamed and…sad. There had been such rage in his eyes when he confronted me. I can feel its heat even now. Maybe that’s why I feel intimidated, even though it also doesn’t exactly make sense that the Senator would suddenly use force to keep me quiet when I’ve been quiet all along.
I nod. “He’s a threatening person, physically. And it seems like he plans on blackmailing me.” It feels disingenuous to bring all this up without mentioning Richard. But Scotty’s the only lawyer I know, and I need advice quickly.
“So where do I come in?”
“I went to the police earlier today, and they said I should have a lawyer write a ‘strongly worded letter.’ That it will take them a long time to look into it because he hasn’t done enough yet for it to be criminal.”
“I could easily write something like that for you,” Scotty offers with a wave of his hand. He takes a sip of his 7UP. “I write ‘leave my client alone’ letters of one kind or another all the time. It will be mostly bluster, you should know. But a lot of what lawyers do is bluster.”
“There’s something else that might be a problem.” I hesitate. “I signed an NDA a long time ago.”
“An NDA related to this guy?” Scotty raises his eyebrows.
I nod.
“And it’s still in effect?”
I nod again.
Scotty grimaces. “I’m assuming you took money in exchange?” It sounds so unseemly. “Sorry to ask, but as a contractual matter it is relevant whether there was money exchanged.”
“Yes.”
“Well, he could argue you’re violating the agreement by even making the accusation.”
“Accusation?” I ask. “It’s just stating facts.”
Scotty waves his hands apologetically. “I’m not saying that in a pejorative way, but that’s what he’ll argue. You obviously can’t get someone to sign an NDA and then go around committing crimes against them they can’t report. But if the police don’t think what he’s done rises to the level of criminal behavior, then you could have a problem.”
“He sent me threatening texts. That’s how I ended up at the police.”
“Did the agreement say thathecouldn’t have contact with you?” Scotty asks hopefully. “Usually, there’s a reciprocal aspect, but not always. You’d be surprised. But if it says he’s supposed to stay clear, and he violated it, then it doesn’t matter if what he did was criminal.”
“I don’t remember what the agreement said,” I say.
“Well, that could be important leverage here. The first step will be to get me a copy of the agreement so that I can review it.”
I stare down at my drink. “I don’t have it.”
“You lost it?” he asks. “Because I’m sure—”
“Technically, I burned it.” It had felt like such a brave act of rebellion at the time. Now it just seems crazy and stupid.
“Youburnedit?” he asks. “As in literally?”
From the look on Scotty’s face, he is also leaning toward psychotic rather than brave.
“Well, I’m sure your lawyer kept a copy. I can just—”
“I didn’t have a real lawyer,” I say. “I had an NYU law student who looked over the agreement. She told me I shouldn’t sign it. But I did anyway. I just wanted the whole thing to be over. I don’t even remember her name.”
Scotty screws up his face like he’s concentrating really hard. “That’s…”
“I was really young,” I say. “And really upset.”
Angry, too. I can feel it in my body even now, vibrating my bones. In the end, I’d turned all that anger at the Senator right back on myself. Let it devour my soul. But I am not that person anymore.
