Lizzie
JULY 10, FRIDAY
I stood there, ears ringing, as the guard at Rikers walked away and left me holding Zach’s signed power of attorney. The paper trembled in my hand.
Zach’s been hurting himself. Zach’s been hurting himself.
What. The. Fuck.
I went to sit outside the Bantum building, letting bus after bus back to the Rikers main exit come and go. I couldn’t stay there much longer without somebody telling me to move. Attorney or not, you couldn’t just hang out on Rikers Island. But I also couldn’t leave without confronting Zach.
I let one last bus pass before going back inside, hoping the guards would be willing to let me talk to him again without requiring I go all the way to the main building to make a formal request.
“Excuse me,” I asked the same guard who’d helped me with the power of attorney. I smiled helplessly. “I forgot to ask my client something.”
“About the face thing, huh?” The guard looked vaguely annoyed, but also sympathetic.
I nodded. “I’d really appreciate it.”
“All right,” he relented. “Just this once.”
Fifteen minutes later, Zach and I were seated again in the same interview room.
“Couldn’t get enough, huh?” he asked, eyes darting down. Leg bouncing.
I stared at him in silence. Where to even begin.
“Why did you lie?” I asked finally.
“Sorry, you’ll have to be, um, more specific,” he said. “There are quite a few allegations swirling around at the moment.”
I pointed at Zach’s face, even though he was looking down, then clasped my hands tight so they wouldn’t shake. “You did all that to yourself.”
Zach’s leg froze. And for the longest time, he didn’t move.
His head lifted first, eyes meeting mine, then his hands came to rest on the metal shelf in front of him as he sat up straighter. He blinked, once, his gaze strong and steady. He was suddenly someone I did not recognize. Someone I had never seen before.
“Surprise,” he said. And then he smiled. “It took you long enough.”
I squeezed my hands tighter, my fingernails digging into my flesh.
“Why?” I asked, the word scratching the back of my dry throat.
“Why am I surprised it took you this long?”
“No, whyme?” My voice was too loud. The guards might come. But I couldn’t help it. “There are so many other lawyers.Youhave so many other lawyers.”
“Well, we’ve already established that you’re loyal to a fault.” He smirked. “Determined, too. Once you started helping me, I knew you wouldn’t give up.” He motioned to his face. “This was added incentive.”
“Is this because I didn’t want to date you?”
“Please, Lizzie,” Zach huffed. “That’s patronizing. This isn’t somelovething. Though what you did back then—both you and I know it was wrong. You used me.”
“We werefriends.”
“It wasn’t that simple,” he said, casually. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter now. Like I said, it’s not like I’ve been sitting around thinking about you all these years. You’ve seen what Amanda looked like, right?I did okay in the wife department. This is just me wanting to get the hell out of jail.”
I pushed to my feet. “I’m withdrawing from your case, effective immediately. I’ll find you replacement counsel.”
