“It’s consistent, but not constant,” he replied.
“Do you think they’ll let it go?”
“I think my sister loves this guy, even if that guts me. I also think she loves me. And the way we grew up, it isn’t surprising she has a fucked-up way of showing it.”
I stroked his spine, whispering, “I hate that for you.”
He put a line under it. “So you gotta put up with Dream bringing the drama, and I gotta put up with Gypsy doing her version of the same. Neither is great. Though it is life.”
“Sadly, it is.”
“Does it hurt that you two aren’t close?” he asked.
“It did, until I met Raye and had a true sister. Though, I have to admit, it isn’t fun feeling like I’m a constant pain in Dream’s ass. I guess by now it’s just that I’m used to it.” I paused and asked, “What about you?”
“I miss the Gypsy I knew. You’re right, she’s an adult and chose her path, I still feel guilt I left her behind, wasn’t there to look after her, and she picked the wrong one. But I made a decision well before I was eighteen and walked into a recruitment office. That decision was the right one for me. I know where my life is heading, and it’s not to an eventual bullet to the head or a cell in a penitentiary. All growing up, everyone around Dad was doing some version of what Dad did. Most of our ‘uncles’ met one of those two ends. It isn’t like they don’t know that’s the ticket they’re punching. If those are the risks they’re willing to take, that’s on them. I intend to retire too, do it well, and do it traveling, grilling meat for my kids and grandkids when they come over for dinner, and being commissioner of my fantasy football league.”
“I approve of these goals.”
“You like football?”
“I like football players’ asses in their tight pants. Does that count?”
He roared with laughter.
After our conversation, I was thrilled to hear it, so I grinned at him in the dark.
“You gonna give me shit about my commitment to my fantasy football league?” he asked.
“Only if you forget to take out the trash,” I answered.
I said that, but he’d already learned how I felt about him taking out the trash.
I knew this lesson had sunk in when he aimed in the dark again, and this kiss lasted longer.
We were all tangled up after it, and I knew by his feel he was done talking (oh yeah, we were getting to know each other real good) and wanted to sleep.
So I settled against him.
He settled into me.
And then he said sleepily, “Thanks for listening to my family damage without making me feel like a freak.”
That was not a sleepy subject thread to pick up, so I decided to leave it alone, for now, and just say, “You’re far from a freak, Knox Chambers. You’re just a good guy, through and through.”
He made a contented sound deep in his chest that was part growl and part purr and made me wonder how committed I was to letting him sleep rather than sucking him off before I let him sleep.
Since he dropped right off, that decision was taken from me.
However, I didn’t drift away because I was processing all he’d told me.
Of course, there were always criminals, and they were people, so they had the capacity to procreate. And it wasn’t like I didn’t know crime could run in the family.
It just surprised the hell out of me that a man like Knox had that history.
I mean, if you didn’t have anyone to guide your way, how did you find your way?
My guy so totally was not a freak. He was so totally extraordinary.
