"It could make everything worse for you."
"I don't care." His hands grip mine. "I can't just sit here knowing he might have hurt her. That there might be something in that apartment that could help find her."
I think about Colleen—how she must feel right now, desperate and utterly alone in her frantic search for answers that no one else seems willing to help her find. I picture her making call after call to the police, to Dylan’s friends, to anyonewho might have seen Claudia, only to be met with dismissal and indifference at every turn.
I think about how the system failed Claudia just like it failed me when I needed help escaping Daniel's grip—the people who were supposed to protect me looked the other way, made excuses, basically told me I was overreacting.
Daniel's dead. His apartment sits empty, full of secrets.
"When?" The word escapes before I can stop it.
"Now. This morning.”
I close my eyes, exhaling slowly. "This is crazy."
"Completely."
"We're really doing this?"
"Yeah," Julian says. "We really are."
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
We pull up to the building twenty minutes later, both of us dressed in dark jeans and hoodies—the kind of outfit that doesn't draw attention, that lets you blend into the background. Normal. Casual. Nothing to see here, just two people going about their evening business.
I've worn my favorite denim jacket up over the hoodie, the one with the cool embroidery I got at a vintage shop. Under different circumstances, I might've felt cool. Right now, I just feel like I'm wearing a costume for a crime I haven't committed yet.
The building looms ahead through the windshield, its brick facade illuminated by the streetlamps. Every light, every shadow feels accusatory. My pulse throbs in my ears.
Except my hands won't stop trembling.
"You okay?" Julian asks.
"No."
He squeezes my knee. "We can still turn back."
But I'm already dialing Colleen. She answers on the second ring.
"I need you to buzz us into the building," I say, my voice coming out steadier than I feel, though my free hand grips the edge of my seat.
"What? Why?"
"I'll explain everything later, I promise," I say, forcing my voice to stay steady even though my hands are still shaking. "Just—please, Colleen. I need you to trust me on this. I know it sounds weird, but I'll tell you everything as soon as I can."
A pause. Then: "Okay."
The lobby door clicks open, and bitter-sweet memories slam into me.
Daniel's hand on my lower back as we entered together the first time, his palm warm and possessive even then, though I'd mistaken it for affection. His lips on my neck in the elevator, the brush of his beard against my skin making me shiver while other residents pretended not to notice us. The way he made me feel safe before he made me feel small—protected, chosen, special. Like I was the only woman in the world who mattered to him. Like he'd never let anything hurt me.
What a fucking lie that turned out to be.
My stomach lurches. I taste bile.
"Liza." Julian's voice cuts through the fog. "Stay with me."
I nod, swallowing hard. We step inside.
