He dipped his head to the floor. “I don’t know… I just wanted to make sure you were okay. See it with my own eyes.” He lifts his gaze to mine and I melt into his baby blues. “I never thought we’d fall for each other. I thought you’d get spooked if your past came back to haunt you. You ran away from it. I didn’t think you wanted it to catch up to you.”
“I didn’t,” I admit. “You were right.”
“That’s why I pretended to be someone else,” he confesses. “I wasn’t planning to stay long.” He squeezes my hand, and his gaze finally fixes mine. I could get lost in his eyes forever. “I love you, Abby. I always have,” he tells me. “I’ve been madly in love with you since I was about four years old.”
I laugh. And I also cry. Happy tears. “I kind of suspected you had a little crush on me.”
“I did… so bad.”
“You used to always stroke my thigh and shoot me a playful grin,” I tell him. “You were six! I remember thinking that you’d be a huge heartbreaker when you grew up.”
“I’m not. I was in love.”
My heart swells. “So how did you find yourself living here, next to me?”
He smirks. “I saw it on your Facebook. You mentioned the loft available for a six month lease next door. My current lease was up, and I acted completely on impulse. It was a chance to see you in the flesh, to know that you were okay, despite everything that had happened.”
“That’s really creepy, Abe.”
He shakes his head. “I know. I’ve never done anything like that before.”
“God… I remember first meeting you,” I tell him. “It was like being hit by lightning. My stomach was all topsy-turvy just at the sight of you.”
He’s still holding on to my hand. “Me too. I didn’t expect to still feel the way I did when I was a kid, but as soon as I saw your smile…”
I tear my hand from his, and grab his face. I lean in and shove myself against him, and before long, our hot mouths are pressed together, our tongues dancing wildly. Our hands roam, not moving fast enough. That familiar desire fills my core, and my whole body responds to him, desperate for his touch. God, it’s only been a few days, but I’ve missed this.
He’s aggressive when he tugs at the band of my pajama bottoms, when he slides them, along with my panties, down the curve of my hips. I’m eager when I pull his t-shirt over his head, and rake my hands through his soft hair.
My hands are quick to travel down his body and pull his pajama pants over his rear, releasing him. He’s more ready than he’s ever been. I trail my finger down his torso, and wrap my hand around him. He groans as I pull away and tease. I trace the tattoo on his shoulder with the tip of my finger. E stands for Elizabeth. I know that now.
“God, I can’t wait to be inside you,” he breathes against my ear. And in the next few seconds, he finds his way there. I wrap my legs around him, and revel in the warm feel of him.
I need this now. We both do. I don’t know what will happen next. He had the power to save both of them, and he never did. I don’t know if I can deal with the history we share.
“I love you, Abe,” I whisper. I know I love him, but I don’t know if I can ever forgive him.
* * *
Izzie’sand Gavin’s funerals were like night and day.
Izzie’s was a grand affair. She had so much family, and the whole town wanted to pay their respects. It was a horrible tragedy, yet everyone wanted a little part of it. People sobbed and hugged.
The scent of flowers assaulted my senses. I was overwhelmed by the crowd, by all those people who wanted to talk to me. I couldn’t touch the finger foods, and I could barely stand straight in my two inch black heels. I wanted to be anywhere but there.
It was a closed casket ceremony of course. There was a pretty table set up with a collection of photos of her, and some mementos she cherished. I recognized many of them. The photos captured her spirit perfectly. It was a beautiful display. My heart ached as my head filled with memories of the two of us, friends since we were so small. Izzie had certainly not always been the best of friends to me, but all the bad memories were suddenly gone, washed clean from my brain.
Gavin’s funeral was not attended by many, and that made my heart ache even more. There were few flowers, and an eerie silence filled the parlor. A single photo of him sat next to the urn of ashes. It was an older photo from his high school graduation. It didn’t capture him at all— he had changed so much. I wished more people could have known him, could have seen what a wonderful caring person he was. Who would take care of me now? I knew I’d have to take care of myself.
I finally had a chance to meet his father and was surprised by the uncanny resemblance. He was nice enough, and I learned that he’d taken Magnum. He was kind enough to let me visit and say goodbye to him before I left.
Surprisingly, no one cried for Gavin, no one but me.
He was cremated, in keeping with a handwritten will he’d left in the top drawer of his dresser. His ashes were buried.
In a weird twist of fate, Izzie and Gavin were both buried in the same cemetery in town, about twenty yards away from each other.
I would only visit them once, the day I’d leave my old life to start a new one.
