Finally, we settle down at a small table in the corner, and my heart beats a little briskly. Sitting right across from him, in this intimate little corner of the shop, feels oddly like a first date. And the fact that he may have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen is not helping the situation either.
I know I’m obsessing again. I know I’m being silly. I’m a thirty-six year old married mother with a ridiculous school girl crush. At least I realize the absurdity of the situation, and that’s the first step.
“So, Mischa, tell me about yourself,” he says just before he takes his first sip.
Casual conversation seems so easy for him. I can tell that he’s very extroverted. But for me, it’s painful. Where to start? He’s put me on the spot.
“Well, I’m an accountant, like I told you. I work from home.” I enjoy a small sip of my smoothie — it’s delicious. “I have two sons, Trevor and Tristan, fifteen and thirteen. My husband, Brian, is a high school teacher. He teaches English and Philosophy…. I have a cat.”
He smiles. “Me too… I have a cat too.”
I know.
“I have two kids… two daughters. Ava is eighteen, and Madison is nine.”
I know.
“My wife, Renee, owns a consignment fashion shop,” he goes on. “She has amazing style.”
I know.
My anxiety heightens with each word he utters. I know all this, and I shouldn’t. Now that we’re friends, I’m afraid he’ll find me out, realize just how messed up I am.
I stare down at my smoothie. “Uh… what’s your wife’s shop called?”
“Restyle for You… you know it?”
I’m not much of an actress, but I attempt my best surprised reaction. “Really? I’ve been there, just recently. Bought a few items. My friend, Claudia, recommended it.”
Fantastic acting job, Mischa.Tap tap on the shoulder.
He’s as excited as I am when he says, “Really? Small world. It’s a great store, isn’t it?”
The words just spill out of me. “Yes, and your wife was super nice… she’s quite beautiful.”
He studies me for a bit, a hint of concern tracing his brow. Silence hangs between us for a beat and I can’t stand it — I feel like he can see right through me.
“Uh…” I start, desperately wanting to keep the conversation going. “Have you always been into fashion?”
He smiles. “Yes… Unfortunately, since I was a kid. I have three older sisters, and let’s just say I’ve played with my share of Barbies.”
I laugh out loud. “Oh, me too. I used to love them. Actually, I was kind of disappointed I never had girls… I would have so gotten my Barbie on.”
He grins widely. “Oh, I got to do that with Ava and Madison. I pretended it was all typical Daddy stuff, but that shit was fun.”
I’m smiling so hard, my mouth hurts — I’m having a really good time.
“I’m sure I was the only baller who secretly loved to flip through fashion magazines. Luckily, they were all over our house.”
“Did any of your friends know about your secret… inclinations, proclivities?” I ask, my words grave and hushed.
He grins. “No way. They would have thought I was gay,” he jokes. “And definitely not gay…”
Oh, I know.
“I love everything about women… their hair mostly, the curve of their legs, the shape of their hips… their eyes, their lips…” His words trail off and his gaze clings to my mouth for a beat too long. My pulse gets away from me and I look away.
When I finally get the courage to look at him again, he’s staring down at his smoothie, sipping it casually. It didn’t feel like a come-on at all. I think he was just being real, and his words got away from him.
